INFORMAL CONTRACTIONS

Informal Contractions

Informal contractions are short forms of other words that people use when speaking casually. They are not exactly slang, but they are a little like slang.

For example, "gonna" is a short form of "going to". If you say "going to" very fast, without carefully pronouncing each word, it can sound like "gonna".

Please remember that these are informal contractions. That means that we do not use them in "correct" speech, and we almost never use them in writing. (If you see them in writing, for example in a comic strip, that is because the written words represent the spoken words or dialogue.) We normally use them only when speaking fast and casually, for example with friends. Some people never use them, even in informal speech.

It is probably true to say that informal contractions are more common in American English.

Also note that, unlike normal contractions, we do not usually use apostrophes (') with informal contractions when written.

Listed below are some common informal contractions, with example sentences. Note that the example sentences may be a little artificial because when we use a contraction we may also use other contractions in the same sentence, or even drop some words completely. For example:

* What are you going to do? >>
* Whatcha going to do? >>
* Whatcha gonna do?

or

* Do you want a beer?
* Do you wanna beer?
* D'you wanna beer?
* D'ya wanna beer?
* Ya wanna beer?
* Wanna beer?

These informal contractions are not "correct" English. Do not use them in a written exam, for example, except in appropriate situations.

* ain't = am not/are not/is not
I ain't sure.
You ain't my boss.
* ain't = has not/have not
I ain't done it.
She ain't finished yet.

* gimme = give me
Gimme your money.
Don't gimme that rubbish.
Can you gimme a hand?

* gonna = going to
Nothing's gonna change my love for you.
I'm not gonna tell you.
What are you gonna do?

* gotta = (have) got a
I've gotta gun.
I gotta gun.
She hasn't gotta penny.
Have you gotta car?
* gotta = (have) got to
I've gotta go now.
I gotta go now.
We haven't gotta do that.
Have they gotta work?

* kinda = kind of
She's kinda cute.

* lemme = let me
Lemme go!

* wanna = want to
I wanna go home.

* wanna = want a
I wanna coffee.

* whatcha = what are you
Whatcha going to do?
* whatcha = what have you
Whatcha got there?

* ya = you
Who saw ya?

CHAT SLANG

Chat, E-Mail, Web, and chat room slang and acronyms
AAK Alive And Kicking
AAR At Any Rate
AAS Alive And Smiling
ADN Any Day Now
AFAIK As Far As I Know
AFK Away From the Keyboard
AFN that's All For Now
AOTA All Of The Above
a/s/l or asl Age/Sex/Location - (used to ask a chatter their personal information)
AV Avatar - Graphical representation (a picture) often used in chat rooms to depict a person that is in the room and chatting.
b4 Before
BAK Back At Keyboard (I'm back)
BBL Be Back Later
BBS Be Back Soon
BCNU I'll Be Seeing You.
b/f Boyfriend (also shown as bf, B/F, or BF)
BEG Big Evil Grin
BFN Bye For Now
BMA Bite My A** (became popular with the Simpson's cartoon show)
boot To get kicked out of a chat room, or have to restart the computer because you couldn't talk in the chat room anymore.
BR Best Regards
BRB Be Right Back
BRH Be Right Here
BSEG Big S**t Eatin Grin
BTA But Then Again....
BTW By The Way
btw BeTWeen you and me ...
chat room A web page where people gather using software that allows them to talk to one another in real time.
CRS Can't Remember S**t
CU See You - also posted as cya
CUS Can't Understand S**t (stuff)
CNP Continued in Next Post (seen more on message boards than chat)
CP Chat Post
CUL8R See You Later
CUOL See You On Line
CYA See Ya
dd, ds, dh Darling or Dear: Dear Son, Dear Daughter, or Dear Husband. Usually exchanged in family chats.
DDSOS Different Day, Same Old S**t
DEGT Don't Even Go There (I don't want to talk about it)
DIKU Do I Know You?
DIS Did I Say
D/L, DL, d/l, dl Downloading, or Download it.
EG Evil Grin
EM E-Mail
EMA E-mail Address (example: ?ema or ema? = what is your email address)
EOT End Of Thread (meaning end of discussion)
ez or EZ easy (one of the really old ones)
F2F Face To Face
FAQ Frequently Asked Question
FISH First In Still Here (someone who is on line TOO much)
FITB Fill In The Blanks
flame to insult someone. Used when a person asks a stupid question, or says something rude to irritate the users of a chat room or message board.
FOCL Falling Off Chair - Laughing
forum What todays message boards are called. Often using php as defining language to quickly write 'real time' messages and replies to a web site (or page)
FTS F*** This S***
fu f*** you (If you can't figure this one out, you shouldn't be on line)
FUBAR "Fouled" Up Beyond All Repair / Recognition
FUD Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt
FWIW For What It's Worth
FYI For Your Information
GA Go Ahead
GAL Get A Life
gest Gesture ... a small multimedia file played over the internet, usually expressing an emotion or comment.
g/f Girlfriend (also shown as gf, G/F, or GF)
GFN Gone For Now
GGOH Gotta Get Outta Here
GMTA Great Minds Think Alike
GR Gotta Run
GR&D Grinning, Running, and Ducking.
GTR Got To Run
GTRM Going To Read Mail (leaving chat room to check email)
H&K Hugs and Kisses
hack person who breaks into software, or disrupts a chat room.
HAGD Have A Good Day
HAGO Have A Good One
Halsoft Name of a company that purchased the brand of Chat that Excite offered, now a pay as you go service.
HB Hurry Back
Hosts Refers to the people that are running the chat room, they usually have the ability to kick a person off due to rude behavior.
HTH Hope That Helps
huggles Hugs
IAC In Any Case
IB I'm Back
IC I See
IDN I Don't kNow
IDK I Don't Know
IDTS I Don't Think So
IANAL I'm Am Not A Lawyer (expect an uninformed opinion)
IC I See
ICQ I Seek You. A computer program used to communicate instantly over the Internet.
ILU or ILY I Love You
IM Instant Message
IMHO In My Humble Opinion (or In My Honest Opinion)
IMO In My Opinion
IOH I'm Out of Here
IOW In Other Words
IRL In Real Life
IYO In Your Opinion
JAS Just A Second
JIC Just In Case
JK Just Kidding
JMO Just My Opinion
JW Just Wondering
k, K, or kk O. K.
KIT Keep In Touch
L8R Later (an early one, kind of outdated with current 'young geeks')
LMAO Laughing My Ass Off
LFFAO Laughing My F***(freaking) Ass Off
LOL Laughing Out Loud
LTNS Long Time No See
LTS Laughing To ones Self
LY I Love Ya.
LYL Love You Lots
Message Board. A web page where people write comments, and those comments are than added to that web-page for others to view. Used to carry on conversation, request information, and relay messages.
MUG Refers to a new user of that chat program, goes back to Excite VP days when the AV (or icon) that represented someone new was a picture of a coffee mug.
NE1 Anyone
newbie refers to a person who is new to an area or technology. Also seen as nube, nooby, nubie, nb, etc.
NFW No Feasible (or F***ing) Way
NIMBY Not In My Back Yard
nm, or NM Never Mind
NP, np No Problem
NRN 1. No Response Necessary
2. Not Right Now
NT No Thanks
OBTW Oh, By The Way.
OIC Oh, I See
OF Old Fart, someone who has been around for a while.
OJ or OK Only Joking or Only Kidding
OL the Old Lady
OM the Old Man
OMG Oh My Gosh (although it's usually used with the Lords name in place of "gosh")
OT Off Topic
oth or OTH Off The Hook: Something is really popular, or hot. Very exciting.
otr or OTR Off The Rack: Saying that something is outside the ordinary.
OTE Over The Edge (beyond common sense or beyond good taste)
OTOH On The Other Hand ...
OTOMH Off the Top of My Head ...
OTW On The Way ... I've sent a file to you, it's "On the way"
P911 My parents are in the room. P=Parents, and 911=emergency, in other words either drop the subject, or watch the language.
PANS Pretty Awesome New Stuff (often referring to computer technology)
PCMCIA Personal Computer Memory Cards International Association
PCMCIA People Can't Master Computer Industry Acronyms (slang)
PEBCAK Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard
peeps People. example: "There sure are a lot of peeps in this room" - meaning a lot of people are in the chat room.
peep this Hey, listen to this, I've got some interesting news.
PITA Pain In The Ass
PLZ Please
PMJI Pardon Me for Jumping In (when you enter into a new conversation)
poof when someone leaves a chat room, often seen as *poof* as in boy he *poofed* in a hurry.
POTS Plain Old Telephone Service
POS Parents are looking Over my Shoulder.
POTS Parents Over The Shoulder - (My parents are watching, I can't really talk)
PPL People
QT Cutie
RFC Request For Comments (used more in newsgroups, a page or pages that supply technical information)
rl or RL Real Life (as opposed to being online)
r m or RM Ready Made: pre-existing
ROFL Rolling On Floor, Laughing
ROTF Rolling On The Floor (laughing is implied)
ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROTFLMFAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing F(***ing) My Ass Off
RSN Real Soon Now
r/t Real Time (also: RT, or rt)
RTFM Read The "Flippin" Manual (response to beginner question on net, chat, newsgroups, etc.)
RU aRe yoU?
SEG Shit Eating Grin
SH Same Here
SMS Short Message Service (more cell phones and pagers than chat rooms and the Internet)
SN Screen Name. The name or moniker selected by person in an IM or chat program. ex: My "SN" in vp was "-lone.wolf"
SNAFU Situation Normal, All "Fouled" Up
SO Significant Other
SOL Shit Out Of Luck
SOS Same Old S**t (stuff)
SOTA State Of The Art (latest technology)
SPST Same Place, Same Time
SSDD Same S**t, Different Day
STR8 Straight (can refer to sex, or DSTR8 as in Damn Straight)
STW Search The Web
SY Sincerely Yours
SYL See You Later
TAFN That's All For Now
TC Take Care
TFH Thread From Hell (a topic or discussion that won't stop - esp. newsgroups)
TGIF Thank Goodness It's Friday
THX Thanks!
TIA Thanks In Advance
TM Text Message (often refers to communications with text over cell phones)
TMI Too Much Info. (information)
TNT 'Til Next Time
TPS That's Pretty Stupid
TPTB The Powers That Be (can sometimes refer to the people that are running the chat room or server)
TRDMF Tears Running Down My Face: Can be with either laughter, or due to saddness.
TS Tough S**t
TSFY Tough S**t For You
TTFN Ta-Ta For Now
TTTT These Things Take Time
TTYL Talk To You Later
TY Thank You
TYT Take Your Time
TYVM Thank You Very Much
VPPH Virtual Places Page Host
US You Suck
usa or USA Until Sides Ache: Usually used with one of the laughter acronyms such as "lolusa" Laughing Out Loud Until my Sides Ache. I've also heard that some folks substitute ush for "Until Sides Hurt". rotflolush = rolling on the floor, laughing out loud, until my sides hurt.
UV Unpleasant Visual
UW yoU're Welcome
UY Up Yours
vp or VP Virtual Places: A brand of chat offered by Excite in the late 90s and early 2000.
WB Welcome Back (you say this when someone returns to a chat room)
WC WelCome
WEG Wicked Evil Grin
WEU What's Eating You?
WFM Works For Me
WIIFM What's In It For Me?
WTG Way To Go
WTF What The F**K
WT? What The ...? or Who the ...?
WTGP? Want To Go Private? (move to a private chat room)
WWJD What Would Jesus Do?
YAA Yet Another Acronym
YBS You'll Be Sorry
YL Young Lady
YM Young Man
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary
YR Yea, Right. (sarcastic)
*ys* You Stinker
YVW You're Very Welcome
YW You're Welcome



Emoticons: (symbols used to display feeling)

Note: For these little things called "emoticons" Often the idea is to turn your head sideways, and it makes a picture on a lot of the smiley faces. ;-) for example where the ; (semi-colon) are the eyes, the - is the nose, and the ) is the mouth. Also, you see some people use the hyphen (-) to show the nose, while others will show the same expression without the nose. Example: ;-) and ;) signify the same thing.

*s*, *S*, , = smile *g*, = grin xoxo = hugs and kisses huggggggsssss = hugs
*w*, = wink *g*, = giggles *k*, *K* = kiss ;-)~~~~~~~~ = giving someone the raspberries.
(((((person))))) = giving them a virtual hug. \~/ = glass with a drink. (usually booze) ^5 = high five ?^ = What's Up?
\_/? = a cup of tea [_]> + Cup of coffee @@@ = Cookies @--/-- = a rose
:-) .. smile ;-) ... wink <:-| ... curious :~) ... cute :-( ... sad 8-) ... wears glasses :-} ... embarrassed :-/ ... perplexed, confused :,-( ..or ;`-( .... to cry :-< ... pouting >:-( ... angry 0:-) ... angel
:-| ... bored or no opinion :-> ... grin/mischievous | -) ... dreaming :-O ... shouting, or shocked
:-o ... talking, or surprised >:-|| ... mad / angry :-D ... big grin or laugh =:-O ... scared
:-x ... keeping mouth shut :o) ... smiles (w/nose) :-))))))) ... lots of smiles ;-P ... sticking tongue out
:P ... sticking tongue out
# 8 - ) ... nerd, or or person with glasses and crew cut. &-( ... crying !:-) .. I have an idea ;-{ ) ... person with a mustache
;-)~ ... sexy tongue - or drunk ;~) ... being cute c["] ... coffee mug [_]> ... another cup or mug
:-> ... grin/mischievous <:-| ... curious |-| ... sound asleep :-x .. I'm keeping my mouth shut


Another few side notes:
Related Links
0 can be O or vice versa, (the letter and the number are often interchangeable)
1 = won or one, (1dr = wonder)
2 = too, to, or two,
3 = the letter E, (so 's33 U' means See you)
4 = for, four, or a prefix of suffix of 'fore. (b4 = before, 4warned = forewarned),
8 is usually either a pair of eyes, glasses, or ate, although it gets used a lot for making pictures,
9 is a good thing (he was dressed to the 9s means he was all dressed up),
B = be,
C = see, (IC means I see)
G = gee,
K = OK, (so k, or kk means I'm OK)
M = am,
N = in,
O = oh,
R = Are,
U = You,
g = grin,
s = smile,

* Computer Acronyms
* Web, Network, and Internet terms and acronyms
* Beginners chat terms
* Computer slang, jargon, and terms.

Lingo Index | Help | Home | Sitemap

A few more quick notes on how this "slang and lingo" is created:
They can be put together in many different ways. Also, you will find some kids mixing numbers in with letters, so if you see:
"h3 l3Ft" substitute the 3 with an E, forget about the caps, and you have "he left".
You will also notice 2 odd items,
1. people tend to extend letters in chat rooms to convey emotion, so HEYYYYYYYY BILLLLLLLL, simply means someone is expressing a lot of emotion in saying hello to Bill.
2. Vowels get left out a lot in chat, and that's wrd. (in this case, weird, although I've seen it mean word)
And lastly, you will see the letter z everywhere. Usually it replaces s or es (the plural of something)
i.e.: 2 many billz = I have too many bills. Although that z gets tossed around a lot, as in hugzzzz, thankz, huggelzzzz, kkz, for OK, etc. Stick with it a while, and you'll be able to catch most of it.

There are also a few terms used with the text messaging more than in chat rooms. Since my generation doesn't really do a lot of that, I only know a few of them:
1040 means you owe me big time (tax form?... get it?)
86 means you're done, or we are outta here.
747 means let's fly, or we're leaving.
360 means I love you back, or right back at you.

143 means I love you (don't ask me why) Thanks to Tom Weiss and his better half for the answer to this one. Tom says that his lady informed him that
[1=I, 4=Love, and 3=You]
so the meaning comes from the number of letters in each word. Thanks Tom.


% is usually to replace the double o 'oo' , as in T%K means took,
& replaces 'and' so b& would be band,
Other than that I am not real up to date with the SMS lingo.

I'm sure there is a ton of this lingo I don't know (hey, the kids have to have some things to themselves). This is not the "be all end all" of acronyms, lingo, and slang, only the terms I've heard and seen posted. Most of this slang refers to chat room short hand, message board and forum posts, Instant Message programs, or text messaging with cell phones. But as I become privy to it, I'll pass it along. You are welcome to send me any I don't have, perhaps I'll post it. That about wraps thing up for now, so ......

Final Note: If you don't see an acronym here that you are looking for, try one of the other pages. Perhaps I felt it belong in a different category other than chat slang. If you have a suggestion for an item I've overlooked, or something new I've not heard of yet, feel free to contact me and submit your "chat slang, jargon, lingo. or emoticon".

L8R All, tnt, ttyl,

Ched

AROUND THE HOUSE

Around the house...



Action replay - During the world cup the England team scored so few goals we had to watch each one several more times on the action replay. Probably as many times as you watched the USA team on instant replays.

Aga - A type of stove that not only cooks the dinner but in many cases, heats the water and the house too. You used to find an Aga in most farmhouses but they have become a status symbol in the UK and have become very popular in any sort of house.

Airing cupboard - In British houses we have a hot water tank in a cupboard off the landing or in one of the bedrooms. Since it is warm in there, we usually hang clothes in it to let them air. That's why we call it the airing cupboard. In my house in Texas, the hot water tank was in the garage.

Answerphone - We like to refer to our answering machines as answerphones.

Bathroom - Again, the clue is in the name. In a British house, you will find a bath in the bathroom. (In smaller houses there may also be a toilet). So when we are going to the bathroom - we are not answering a call of nature - we're going for a bath! Always causes problems when Americans visit UK families this one - I'm sure they think we wee in the sink!

Beading - This is the stuff that goes around the edge of cheap furniture. Wood trim to you chaps.

Bedsit - This is the kind of accommodation many students live in when they cannot afford anything else. It is basically a single room with a bed, cooker, table and sofa. You would normally share the bathroom. The nearest thing you have in the US is an efficiency.

Bin - Trash can. You would put a bin liner in it before you put the rubbish in it to keep it clean. Bin day is the day that the bin men in the bin lorry come and empty your dustbin. A bin would normally mean the one in your house - whereas the dustbin would normally mean the one outside - though that sometimes gets called the bin too.

Bin bag - The black bag that you put inside the kitchen bin to save you having to wash out the bin each time you empty it. Often comes with a draw string so that you can tie the top shut and avoid nasty niffs when you put it in the dustbin.

Bin day - For some reason - everywhere I have lived in the world, bin day is on Monday. I'm sure somewhere it happens on another day but not anywhere I've been!

Bin liner - This is another word for bin bag.

Bin lorry - The vehicle that the bin men drive.

Bin men - The chaps that come around at 6am and wake the entire street up with their bin lorry to empty your dustbins. Sometimes the rubbish even goes in the lorry! I'm sure they have some kind of machine that singles out the crisp bags and deposits them along the street!

Blower - The blower is the telephone, before you get too excited!

Bog - A vulgar word for the toilet, either the room or the pan itself.

Box - If you hear a Brit complaining that there is nothing on the box, he would be talking about the lack of viewing pleasures on the television.

Brolly - Short for umbrella. An essential item in England!

Budgie - One of the most popular pets in the UK, a budgie is a small green bird. Budgie is short for budgerigar, which is a small Australian parakeet. Generally they get eaten by the cat or when you let them out, they find the only open window in the house and let themselves out!

Bungalow - A house with no upstairs. A single storey house. Not popular with anyone but the old.

Caravan - Everyone in the UK hates caravans - except caravan owners, that is. They are the trailer homes that come out every summer and block all our little British roads and bring everyone to a complete standstill. Aaaaaargggggg! Unlike your RVs they need to be towed as they only have 2 wheels and cannot be driven.

Ceefax - This is the text service found on the TV. On British TVs each channel has a text service as an alternative to the regular programming. You can hit the mute and press the TEXT button and read several hundred pages of info from TV listings to news, from the lottery results to cheap holiday deals. Ceefax is the BBC version. On the commercial channels, the equivalent is teletext.

Continental quilt - This is what we used to call duvets. Since the UK was the last country in Europe to figure out what they were, we seem to have made up name a for them. Now we just call them duvets.

Cooker - The thing in your kitchen that you use to cook things on or in. The top is the hob and the inside is the oven. You refer to it as a range or stove.

Corn dolly - On the top of some thatched houses there is a model of an animal - often a pheasant. These are made of straw (the same as the roof) and are just there for decoration. Keep a look out for them as you drive around the English countryside.

Couch - Sofa to you. America has some of the largest furniture in the world, yet the only sofa too small to make love in, you call a Love Seat!

Council house - A council house is a government built house to help people on lower incomes have a home. They all used to be rented from the government but now most tenants have the option to buy relatively cheaply to help them get on the house ownership ladder. Most council houses are fairly large, for families, but not terribly attractive. Called projects in some places in the USA.

Council estate - A council estate is a neighbourhood of council houses.

Cubby hole - A cubby hole is a small nook or cranny. It originated as a word for the glove box in a car but is now less fussy about its use.

Cupboard - Any closet in the house. Cupboards in the kitchen contain food, crockery, cutlery etc. In the bedroom they contain clothes and sometimes skeletons.

Des res - If someone lives in a particularly nice property in a nice part of town it would be referred to as a des res. It is short for desirable residence and usually means bloody expensive!

Dresser - Dresser hutch or china cabinet seem to be the closest US words for this item of furniture which lives in the kitchen or dining room. The bottom half is an enclosed cabinet and the top is an open, doorless cabinet for standing plates in upright.

Dust cart - Another word for the lorry that the bin men drive.

Dustbin - When you empty your bins the day before bin day, you put them in the dustbin outside.

Duvet - Most Brits have dispensed with blankets and sheets and now sleep under a duvet. It is similar to a comforter but has a removable cover that can be washed. Duvet's warmth is measured in togs, 2 or 3 togs for summer duvets and 11 or more for winter ones.

Earth - This, in electrical terms is what you call ground. You will find appliances that say "this appliance must be earthed" for example. Or when wiring an electrical plug the third pin will be marked "earth".

Eiderdown - Before Brits started to sleep under duvets, they would cover their sheets and blankets with an eiderdown. Similar to a comforter it does not have a removable cover and is just there to add extra warmth and to look nice.

Emulsion - Our paint for the inside of houses is basically split into emulsion and gloss varieties. Emulsions for the walls and gloss for the woodwork and metal surfaces. Emulsions are water based and can come in matt or silk flavours, depending on whether you want a shine or not.

En-suite - If you are looking at Bed & Breakfast listings in the UK you might see reference to an en-suite. This is the bathroom and means that it is connected directly to the bedroom and therefore not shared.

Estate - This is short for a housing estate. You might call it a residential development or a subdivision. Basically it is a bunch of similar houses built far too close together and described as "highly desirable" by estate agents!

Flat - This is our word for an apartment. I met someone in Texas who had broken down in his car and he told me that he had a flat. I thought it was a strange time to tell me where he lived!

Flex - Although this is derived from the word "flexible", it is used as a noun to mean an electric cord or extension lead.

Garden - Not the vegetable patch or the flower beds. The garden is the yard. I always wondered why my American friends thought it was odd that Brits spend so much of the summer sitting in the garden!

Gazumping - When you buy a new house in the UK, you hope that you won't be gazumped. It's frowned on but it still goes on. When you make an offer on a house and the seller accepts it, they are not allowed to then accept a higher offer from another potential buyer. That would be gazumping.

Hand basin - This is another word for a sink. Usually refers to the kind found in bedrooms in some older houses. They are intended for washing your hands and face, rather than the dishes.

Hessian - This material is what they make sacks from and use on the back of carpets. I believe you call it burlap.

Hob - The bit on the top of the cooker is called the hob. You call it the burner.

Housing estate - This is what you'd call a subdivision.

Khazi - Another word for the toilet, generally used by older people.

Kitchen towel - Paper towel to you chaps.

Laundry basket - Where you chuck your smelly clothes when you take them off and before you wash them. Laundry hamper to you. To us that would imply a thing full of food, not smelly underwear. Surprise!

Loft - Our loft is your attic.

Loo - Either the toilet or the bathroom. The most common way to ask for the restroom in an English restaurant would to ask where the loo is. Try it - it works. More old ladies die whilst sitting on the loo than you would think. Official statistic. I know two that did!

Lounge - Our living room is called the lounge. We also say living room sometimes but lounge is probably more common.

Mobile home - Trailer home. These are not as common in England as they are in the US. I was shocked when I saw my first trailer home driving down I35 on the back of a lorry. I've heard of moving house but that is ridiculous. Of course we cannot use the term "trailer trash" since "mobile home rubbish" doesn't have the same ring about it!

Paper knife - A letter opener. Also used in murder mysteries to kill people, of course.

Paraffin - You call this kerosene. Equally a paraffin lamp would be one of those old fashioned lamps with paraffin in the base and a wick which is really hard to light. We still have them, but only when you go on scout camp!

Plaster board - Sheet rock in Texas. In the UK, plasterboard is used to make ceilings and is also used to make internal walls, it is then covered in a thin layer of real plaster, except in cheap modern houses. In Texas, entire houses are made from sheet rock, which is a bit worrying if it is windy or rainy! If the three little pigs had lived in Texas, they would have been eaten! In some states call it's called "plaster board" like it is here in the UK and others it's called drywall.

Power point - This would be an electric socket in the US. Ours have three pins, not two. The big one is earth and also serves to open the little doors where the other two pins go. This keeps little fingers out, in theory!

Run the bath - This means to fill the tub. Obviously you have to run the bath before you get in it.

Sand pit - Every parent buys a sand pit for the kids to play in and the cat to pee in. Sand boxes to you, now available with lids to keep the cat out!

Schooner - This is a rather ridiculous looking sherry glass, for what the pubs call a "large" sherry. It is not the same as the American glass of the same name.

Secateurs - You use a pair of secateurs to cut the shrubs in the garden down or to trim bushes. You would call them hedge clippers or pruning shears. I recently discovered that they use something like secateurs during a caesarean birth to cut your wife open. Not the most pleasant experience!

Settee - Sofa to you. Whether a small love seat or a big three seater.

Shammy - I think you call these wash leathers. They are the completely useless cloths, originally made from the skin of the chamois - a wild antelope, the size of a goat. They dry rigid and leave horrible streaks across the windows they are supposed to clean!

Skirting board - This is the wood that goes around the bottom of the wall and usually has bits of carpet fluff stuck to it where people were too impatient to wait for the paint to dry before laying the carpet! You chaps call it baseboard.

Tap - Faucet. There will be some on the sink in the loo!

Teletext - Whenever American friends come to visit us in England they are always fascinated by teletext. On our TVs, text is transmitted along with the programmes. You just press a button from any channel and you get the text channel. There you can book holidays, check the lottery results, read the news, check the weather and a hundred other things. And best of all - it's free.

Telly - The good old television. Still only four channels (actually there are FIVE now. Yikes!). Still no commercials on two of them, still very few commercials on the other two. British television was one of the things I missed most when I lived in Texas.

Thatch - There are still many houses in England that have thatch for their roof material. It is basically straw and is very picturesque. Amazingly it keeps the rain out pretty well, but is often covered in a fine wire mesh to keep the birds and mice out since they like it too.

To let - You'll see signs around England with "To Let" on them, outside properties. This is the same as to rent in the US. Kids love to add a letter "I" in between the two words to make "toilet".

Toilet - The Brits are not so shy about their use of the word toilet. In fact, it is perfectly reasonable to ask for the toilet in the most classy of establishments. Our first American visitor asked for the bathroom, shortly to return complaining there was no toilet there. Of course there wasn't! That is in the toilet! For some reason, you also call it a restroom though I have never seen anyone resting in one yet!

Trunk call - This is the old expression for a long distance call.

Video - We use this word to mean the video cassette recorder or VCR to you, as well as the video you put in it. Just like in the US - most people have no idea how to operate it. Only the under 10s have mastered most videos.

Wardrobe - Wardrobes are usually free standing wooden cupboards, designed for holding clothes on hangers. In America you have closets. A walk-in wardrobe is a walk-in closet.

White goods - When you visit a British store that sells things for the home you will find a section for white goods. These are the electrical appliances that you have in your kitchen or utility room like fridges, freezers, washing machines and driers. The name is cunningly derived from their colour!

Wireless - This is an old word for a radio. See if you can guess where the name came from!

FOOD AND DRINK

http://www.effingpot.com/food.shtml

FOOD AND DRINK

Clothing...

 

Anorak - A very untrendy kind of waterproof, padded coat with a zip. The sort of thing your mother made you wear when you were 10 and you still haven't forgiven her for it! Especially if she made you put the hood up when it rained. Possibly called a slicker in American. The worst thing about my anorak was that my Mum had tied my gloves together by passing a piece of string through the arms of the anorak. This would have been quite sensible if the big boys hadn't taken great delight in pulling one glove really hard and watching me punch myself in the face with the other hand! Balaclava - This is what you call a ski mask. You know - the knitted woollen thing that covers your whole head - with little holes for your eyes, nose and mouth. Not sexy for a first date - but damned useful for robbing banks. Boiler suit - An all-in-one coverall that protects clothes from oil and filth in dirty working conditions. Originally used my men working in boiler rooms. Boob tube - One of the more descriptive articles of ladies clothing, the boob tube is an elasticated tube that covers the boobs. In the US some people call the TV a boob tube. Wearing a boob tube would take on a whole new meaning! Watching boob tubes in the UK can get you arrested! I heard them called tube tops in the US. Brace - The metal thing you wear on your teeth to make them nicer when you grow up. Not to be confused with braces. Braces - The things you call suspenders, our braces hold our trousers up. Bum bag - Fanny pack in American. Watch the Brits snigger whenever you mention a fanny pack! It translates particularly badly - see fanny. Cagoule - A thin, windproof jacket. I used to have one that folded up into itself, which was just as well because it was yellow, so the smaller the better in my view. Used in outside pursuits because they take up almost no space when wrapped up. Mentioned in the British TV series "Absolutely Fabulous" - yes this is what they are talking about. Cardie - Cardigan. Sweater with buttons down the front like a shirt. Very popular with trainspotters but nobody else. Cozzy - Grab your cozzy - we're going swimming. It is short for your swimming costume, or bathing suit. Daps - See Pumps. Dinner jacket - Tuxedo. We usually refer to it as our DJ. Not to be confused with a Disc Jockey - we definitely don't wear them! Dressing gown - Robe to you. Dungarees - Overalls to you. Fine on kids but whatever you call them, grown men look ridiculous in them! Frock - This is the word for dress, though generally only used by older people. Your posh frock would be your best dress. Jersey - As well as being the name of an island near here it is also what we call a Sweater. Jumper - Another word for sweater. Knickers - This is what we call a ladies' panties. Not to their face, of course! Mac - Short for Macintosh, the Mac is a raincoat invented by a Mr Macintosh. Most likely heard in reference to dirty old men, or flashers, who are stereotyped as wearing Macs! Muffler - Don't worry if someone asks you if you would like to wear a muffler. They are not suggesting you wear an old car part round your shoulders. It's actually a big fluffy scarf. Nappy - Diaper to you. Pants - Don't make a comment about an Englishman's pants - they are his underwear! Same for ladies too, though knickers would be more common. We were in a pub in England one day when two attractive American girls walked in wearing quite short skirts and one loudly said to the other that she was cold and that she should have worn pants! Needless to say she instantly had the attention of every Englishman in the place, who thought there was nothing under her skirt! Pinafore - A pinafore dress is what you might call a jumper. Pinny - Mrs Tiggywinkle - the well beloved hedgehog from my childhood, always wore a pinny. Actually childish slang for pinafore. You might call it an apron, to protect the clothes from washing and cooking. It originates from "pin - afore". In other words you would "pin" it "afore" (in front of) your dress. Plimsolls - See Pumps. Polo neck - I can't believe they've come back into fashion - they look so stupid, like you are trying to hide a love bite. You call them turtle necks. Pullover - Yet another word for sweater. Hey it's cold here - we need several names for them! Pumps (Plimsolls, Daps) - You'd probably call them sneakers, but pumps were usually black and elasticated and you wore them during P.E. (Physical Education). They were also called plimsolls as they were invented by the same guy who invented the plimsoll line on ships. These days I'm sure kids wear the latest Nike or Reebok fashion shoes but pumps or plimsolls was what I wore and I was proud of them! By the way, pumps were what one family I used to know, used as the polite word for farts. Very strange - who pumped? Suspenders - This one is a bit worrying. Suspenders in English are the things that hold up a lady's (hopefully!) stockings. The first time a male American friend told me he was wearing suspenders to a party I thought it was a Rocky Horror Show party - so I wore suspenders too! Whoops! You call them garter belts. Swimming costume - This is what you wear to go swimming, obviously! You might call it a bathing suit. We also say swimsuit and cozzy. Tights - What you call pantyhose! Also a way that kids remember the difference between stalagmites and stalactites. The tights come down and the mites go up!!! Typical of the British education system. Trainers - Short for training shoes. You would call them sneakers. Trousers - What you call pants! Confused yet? My suspenders friend also told me that he would be wearing pants with his suspenders. Kinky! Undies - Your underwear. Normally your pants rather than any other item. Vest - Worn by old men and anyone who is nesh (a wimp!), a vest is worn under your shirt to keep you warm. Comes in string vest or plain. You call them undershirts. Waistcoat - Worn under your dinner jacket, the waistcoat is called a vest in America. Wellies - Wellington Boots, named after the Duke of Wellington. Called galoshes in America.

british slang words

People...

 

Anorak - No - not an article of clothing (though it means that too), an anorak is another word for a nerd or a square. Apparently originated from the anoraks that were worn by trainspotters whatever the weather. If you are described as being a bit of an anorak, beware! Barmaid - A female bartender in a pub is called the barmaid. Barman - The bartender in a pub is called the barman. Barrister - An attorney that would represent you in court. Not that I know, of course! Beefeater - This is the name given to the guards at the Tower of London and a chain of cheap steak restaurants. One is worth visiting, one is worth avoiding! Bender - A bender is a gay man. Also referred to as a woofter and a few rather unsavoury terms that you'll have to visit England to find out! Berk - A fool. I remember giggling every time James Burke came on telly when I was kid. Also spelt "burk". The origin is quite interesting - it is another rhyming slang word that many people don't even realise is short for "Berkeley-Hunt", who was an 1890s stage idiot. Hunt rhymes with, well use your imagination! It's OK to say berk. Big girl's blouse - This is a nice way of saying someone is a wimp. It means someone is being pathetic. It works well for girls and blokes. The Bill - The police, or the thing you ask for after a meal in a restaurant. In the US that is called the check. Bint - A bint is a woman or your bird. Bird - Your bird is your girl. A bit old fashioned and only used by your Dad or Grandad. Not very politically correct. Bloke - A guy in American. A "good bloke" would be like a "nice guy". Bobby - Yet another word for policeman. Boffin - This is the word for a nerd. Usually male, a boffin would be highly intelligent, have no dress sense and probably grow up to be a mad scientist or an HTML programmer! Bonce - Your bonce is your head! So if someone tells you to use your bonce it means "think about it". Bristols - This is a good example of a word that most Brits would know, but not necessarily realise it was derived from rhyming slang. Bristols means breasts. If you haven't worked it out yet, bristols is short for bristol city's (a football team), city's rhymes with titties, i.e. breasts! Easy huh! Brum - Short for Birmingham. People from brum are brummies and they speak brum, a kind of English! Brummy - A person from Birmingham who speaks brum. Bum chum - Another name for a gay man. We have lots of other expressions, too numerous to list here. Some of the less offensive include shirtlifter and arse bandit. Buns - Some elderly ladies have buns on their heads. This is not a terrible deformity, the bun is actually rolled up hair in the shape of a currant bun. Burk - Fool. I remember giggling every time James Burke came on telly when I was kid. Also spelt berk. Busker - Street entertainer to you. Someone who makes his or her living by singing, playing or acting on the street to amuse the crowds of passers by. Busking is down to a fine art at Covent Garden in London - it's worth the trip. Reminds me of the buskers outside Quincey Market in Boston. Butterfingers - You would call someone butterfingers if they were clumsy and dropped something. Cack-handed - Someone who is cack-handed is clumsy. My Mum was putting her buns in the oven one afternoon and tipped the tray upside down and said she was all cack-handed. Also referred to as caggy handed in some places and means left handed in others. Cake hole - This is another one I heard a lot as a kid. My Dad use to say "Shut your clanging cake hole". Now that I am a foot taller than him he might say something more like "Could you please be quiet"! It basically means your mouth. Cashier - This is the person in the bank who talks to the public over the counter. You would call them tellers. Chalk and cheese - This isn't some weird British recipe, it is short for the expression "as different as chalk and cheese". You hear it when people are bitching about other couples they know who are very different to each other. You might say like night and day. Chap - A guy in American. Men and women are sometimes referred to as chaps and chapesses. Chav - Another of our lovely derogatory terms for someone from the peasant underclass. Dress code is important - designer or fake designer lables, hoodies and often lots of bling. The name may come from the Council House and Vauxhall acronym as the car of choice is the Vauxhall Nova. The guys are Chavsters and the girls are Chavettes. Christian name - This is your first name. You would see it on forms that require both parts of your name separately. We generally ignore middle initials as fairly irrelevant and avoid the use of additions like "junior" and "IIIrd", unless you happen to be a king, of course. Chuck - Another term of endearment from up north. Pronounced more like chook. Rhymes with dook! Chum - Your chum is your friend. We might also say mate. Clever clogs - Same as clever dick and smart arse - this is a wise guy. Clever dick - This is a bit of a wise guy, not performing tricks with certain parts of the body! Clot - If someone calls you a clot, please be offended. It means you are stupid. A dim wit! Of course, if you really are a clot, then you probably won't notice! Cloth ears - This is the polite way to call someone a deaf git! Politely put it simply means you are deaf. Codger - An old codger is an old bloke. An old timer to you. Copper - Either a policeman or the coins in your pocket that are not silver. Dapper - If you are particularly well dressed, you would be described as being dapper. Dim wit - Someone who is thick is a dim wit or just dim. Avoid using this word when addressing police in the UK, but feel free to try it in the US! Dip stick - Apart from being something you find in your car, a dip stick is someone who is stupid or who has done something stupid. I get called it all the time! Divvy - This is another word like dip stick for someone who is a bit stupid. Dog's body - A dog's body is a gofer. Someone who gets all the menial tasks to do, like fetching and carrying. It doesn't mean they have four legs and a tail. Don - I recently took a friend from Austin to Oxford to punt up the river and have a cream tea in the university. We ate in the main hall of one of the colleges and at one end there is separate table for the dons. They are the professors at Oxford or Cambridge universities. Duck - Another term of endearment from up north. Pronounced more like "dook". Rhymes with "chook"! Duffer - An old duffer is either someone who is not very good at something or someone who is old. Like an old geezer. Dustman - The man who empties your dustbin. garbage collector in the US. Estate agents - The people who can make even the most disgusting property sound desirable - real estate agents to you. Father Christmas - Santa Claus in America, though I'm not sure he's the same bloke. I saw him in London when I was leaving for New York, and when I arrived, hey he was there too! Fire brigade - This is the fire department. Dial 999 for a demonstration. Flat mate - This is what you call a room mate. It's someone you share your flat with. After all the clue is in the name. Whenever an American tells me they have a room mate I worry about them sharing a room at their age - or even question their sexuality! Flower - Whenever I visit my relatives up north I seem to be called "flower" quite often. It is simply a term of endearment. I reckon they call you that when they can't remember your real name! Forehead - Actually this is the same word in both languages. It is just the pronunciation that is different. Generally in the US it is pronounced fore-head and in the UK it is forrid. Fresher - During your first year at university you would be referred to as a fresher. You would be called a freshman in the US. Gaffer - This is a word for an old bloke or a workman's boss or the foreman of a team of labourers. A "good gaffer" would be a good boss. Geezer - Another word for bloke but mostly heard in London. Git - I have never been able to describe this northern term for someone who is a jerk, an undesirable, a prat. "You ignorant git" is a popular use of the word. Gob - This word is used as a noun, meaning your mouth, hence the gobstopper is used to fill it up! The other use is as a verb. You would not gob your gobstopper out as it would be rude. Some people gob on the pavement, meaning they spit green stuff out in public. Not nice. Gooseberry - To be a gooseberry is to be the third person on a date. If two guys are in bar and one of them successfully chats up a girly, his mate becomes a gooseberry and feels a bit awkward! You would feel a bit of a gooseberry if you accompanied a couple on a date. Grockles - This is a word I heard a lot when I was a kid in the West Country. It means tourists. So if you hear someone in the UK mention the word "grockles" they are probably talking about you! Guard - When travelling by train, the man that collects your tickets is called a guard, not a conductor as you have in the US. Strangely if it was a bus we would call them a conductor, even though they don't have a baton and there is no orchestra in sight! Gumby - This is mild insult that is safe to use in public when someone is not using their brain. Used with people you know usually, though you could try calling your British waiter a gumby when he brings you water with no ice in it - see where the water ends up! Guv - I've been called "Guv" or "Guv'nor" a few times by taxi drivers in London. It's an East End expression, short for "Governor" which roughly translates as Sir, used to address a man when you don't know his name. Gypo - A Gypsy. In England they are generally not welcomed by people. They stick their caravans on the odd bit of green space, wreck it and come around the neighbourhood offering tree cutting services and leaving a wake of suspicion. Hooray Henry - I am not aware of an American equivalent to a hooray henry. It is a phrase that came in a few years ago to describe the young upper class. They talk like they have a plum in their mouths and say things like "OK yar"! Similar to yuppie. Hooter - Your hooter is your nose. The clue is in the noise you make when you blow it! Some people even have one that looks like a hooter, just for effect I think. It's also the horn on a car. Just imagine how shocked Brits must be when they go to the bar you have called Hooters and they find that the waitresses all have normal noses - disappointing! Jammy beggar - You may hear people being called a jammy bugger, jammy beggar or jammy bastard. It just means they have been lucky! Job's worth - A job's worth is a person who is inflexible in their job, even if it means upsetting their customer. For example, if a restaurant served custard with apple pie and you wanted ice cream instead, a job's worth would be the kind of waiter who would refuse to give you ice cream because it wasn't listed like that on the menu. The excuse would be that it was more than their job's worth. Konk - This is not a very nice way of describing someone's nose. Lad - A young man who is somewhat boisterous and crude. As in "he's being a real lad". Ladette - The female equivalent to the lad. Not terribly ladylike! Landlady - The lady owner (or these days more often the manager) of a pub is called the landlady. Stems from the origin of most pubs being inns with accommodation. Many still do of course, though the name landlady applies to all pub owners, even if they have no rooms to let. Landlord - The same as landlady except where the proprietor is a bloke! Loaf - My Dad was always telling me to use my loaf. It means use your head and comes from rhyming slang. Loaf is short for loaf of bread, which rhymes with head. Lollipop man - Every kid loves the lollipop man (or lady of course). They stand in the middle of the street and hold this huge lollipop up to stop the traffic as the kids cross the road. Actually it's not a real lollipop - it is a sign that tells the traffic to "STOP, CHILDREN CROSSING". Sometimes called a crossing guard in the US. Long sighted - We say long sighted when you would say far sighted. Lug holes - These are your ears. Mate - Buddy or friend. You might go to the pub with your mates for a few lagers followed by a greasy doner. Mean - We often say people are mean if they are tight fisted, stingy or hold on to their money. This often confuses my American chums who think I'm talking about people being horrid. Minger - Not a nice word for someone who is butt ugly. Rhymes with "finger". Or you may also hear that someone is "minging", which is just another way of saying the same thing. Morris dancer - Around May, you are likely to see a group of morris dancers, seemingly sane men who dress up in knee length britches, long socks, with ribbons flying from various parts of their bodies. They dance around poles with long sticks in their hands much to the amusement of passers by. Then they go home and don't come out until the following May. Mother - Don't be alarmed if a British bloke says "Shall I be Mother?". This would happen when the family sit down to a pot of tea or a slice of cake and someone needs to pour or cut for everyone. Whoever gets to do the honours is being "Mother". Mum - Mom in the US. Namby pamby - Avoid being called a namby pamby when visiting the UK. It means you are acting like a big girl's blouse! You're being a wimp - like not having the courage to try haggis or black pudding. Naughty bits - If you have seen the British TV show "Monty Python" you may have come across this rather silly expression for describing ones genitals. Nobby no-mates - An imaginary name for someone with no friends. You call people this when they have not been invited to something you have, just to be horrid! Nosey parker - Someone who sticks their nose into everyone elses business. Nutter - Someone who is crazy would be described as a nutter - you might say a nutcase. Old Lag - Someone who is a bit old fashioned or behind the times. A bit of a laggard. On your tod - If you are on your tod it means you are all on your own. A more recent expression is to say you were Nobby no-mates. Ahh, sad! Page three girl - One of the cheap and cheerful newspapers in the UK is The Sun. It is most famous for it's page three girl, a different topless girl every day. Of course, most people buy it for the news. Mmmm! Pikey - A Pikey is a Gypo or someone who acts like one. Buys cheap, own brand goods and has no money. Shops in the the "cheap" shops and looks like it. A nice meal out might be to KFC for a bucket! Pillock - Another mildly insulting name for someone. If someone had just done something stupid you would say "you pillock". This one is safe in front of grandparents. Plod - The police. This one originates from an Enid Blyton character in the Noddy stories - Mr Plod the Policeman. I hope the Teletubbies don't make their way into the English language in the same way - just imagine - "I'm off to clean the carpet with the Noo Noo" or "I'm out of the closet now everyone knows I'm a Tinky Winky". Plonker - Either another word for your penis, your John Thomas or your dick. Or an inoffensive term for someone who is a bit of a wally. Most well known in the phrase "Rodney - you plonker" from the British sitcom - Only Fools and Horses. If someone is taking the piss, or making fun of you, they would also be "pulling your plonker". Po-faced - When we were kids, if someone told a rude joke at the dinner table and everyone laughed - sometimes my Dad would sit there po-faced. In other words he was not amused and would keep a straight face. Actually he would remember the joke for work but wasn't going to admit that to the kids was he now!! Probably derived from "poker faced". Ponce - Poncey things and poncey people are a bit girlie! It is not exactly another word for gay but it's getting close. A ponce is also another word for pimp, who lives off a prostitute's earnings. And it also has another meaning and that is to scrounge so one might try to ponce a fag off your mate, meaning you would scrounge a cigarette. Poofter - An extended version of the word "poof", this is how you could refer either to a gay man or to a guy who is being a bit of a nancy boy or woofter. Posty - Your postman is the posty. You would call him the mailman. Prefect - I hated the prefects at school. They are your peer students who are allowed to stay in at lunch times and guard the doors to keep the rest of us out in the cold and the rain - and that was just the summers! You might call them monitors though I'm not sure there is a direct translation. Punter - Punters are customers. Originally came from the betters at the racetracks but has extended in use to mean anyone who should be persuaded to part with their money. Randy - A friend of mine visited a company in the US and was asked to wait in the reception with a cuppa whilst the receptionist went to "get Randy". My friend said he was just hoping for a biscuit! Randy is not a name in England. It means you're horny or you're ready for sex. If your name is Randy, try alternative approaches with Brits! Red Indian - This is an Indian from America. You just call them Indians. We use the word "Indians" to mean people from India! Well the clue is in the name! Room mate - This is someone you share your bedroom with in a flat. We think you all share rooms because you use this expression to mean someone you share the whole flat with - get it right! Scatty - I know lots of scatty people. Otherwise known as scatterbrains. You would probably call them whacky but probably not whackerbrains! School leaver - This is what we call a college graduate. Next stop - work or university. Scouse - This is the language used by Liverpudlians (people from Liverpool, like me!). It is basically English but hard to understand. Rhymes with "house". Scouser - Someone from Liverpool would be a scouser. Scrubber - This is a nasty way of referring to a loose woman. Similar to tart or floozy. Septic - Try not to be offended, but this means an American. It's actually the rhyming slang for yank. Septic is short for "septic tank" and tank rhymes with yank. Now you know! Shareholder - Someone who owns shares in a company. You would call them stockholders. Short sighted - We say short sighted when you would say near sighted. Sideboards - Sideburns in the USA - though we say both words here. Skiver - A skiver is someone who evades something. For example a truant is someone who skives off school instead of studying - I should know! Slag - A slag or an "old slag" is not a very nice way of describing a woman who is a bit loose, a bit of a slapper. Slapper - A less offensive word than slag, this is another way of calling someone a tart, a major flirt. Smart arse - No - not a "clever bottom", this is someone who is a bit too clever for their own good. A wise guy. Often used to describe someone who has an answer for everything. Solicitor - This is our word for an attorney. So when we see signs in the US that say "No Soliciting" it sounds like attorneys are not welcome there. Well where are they welcome exactly? Sponger - Someone who borrows or begs and does nothing to earn their own money. People sponge off their friends or some who refuse to work and collect dole money sponge off the state. Spotty youth - This is a generic term used by older people to refer to teenagers. The "spotty" refers to the fact that they may well have acne. Sprog - A baby. Most people have between 2 and 3 sprogs in the UK. Except the Catholics who have lots! Squire - "Morning squire" is something you may hear in England. Squire is used to mean Sir. Staff - We use this word to refer to the employees in a company in general. Swot - We used to call the boys at school "girlie swots" if they preferred to do homework and study, rather than proper kids things like shoplifting and hiding from teachers. It was not cool to be a swot. Funny how they all ended up with the best jobs though - must be a coincidence! Tart - You old tart! That's what you'd say to someone whose morals are a little loose. A bit too much flirting. Normally you'd hear people being described as having been a tart after the office Christmas party, if they were caught snogging their secretary! People may also dress like a tart - maybe if their skirt is too short! Used to apply only to women but these days it is a mild insult used for both sexes. Thick - If someone is thick it means they are stupid. You might hear it said that someone is "thick as shi*" - that means they are really stupid! Thicko is a nicer way of saying someone is stupid though - try it on your friends! Toff - A toff is someone who is rather well spoken, upper class and looks down on the rest of us. My mate calls them "posh gits". Trainspotter - Not your mate. Not that you'd admit to anyway. A trainspotter is a particularly sad breed of middle-aged man, usually wearing a cardie and an anorak. He stands on the end of railway station platforms and writes down the registration numbers of trains. Fun eh? Pretty close to a nerd in American. Tramp - This is a homeless person who begs on street corners. We don't use this word in the flirting sense that you have. Turf accountant - This is one of the words we use to describe a bookie. You will see it outside their shops. We also use the expression "betting shop". The best place to bet, though, is on the racecourse - great fun. Ulcer - When I got an ulcer in Austin I went to about 5 drug stores before I found someone who had a clue what an ulcer might be. After speaking to all the pharmacists it was the spotty faced youth stacking the shelves in Albertson's who told me what I had was a canker. Up the duff - If a woman is up the duff it means she is pregnant. Very well - When someone says hello to you in England and asks how you are, please don't say good. Say you are "very well". Good is a behavioural thing, which would mean you are a good boy or girl and haven't been naughty today!! Which doesn't really answer the question, does it? Vet - In England, vets look after the health of our animals and pets. They are rarely seen loitering on street corners, begging for work or money. The first American who told me he was a vet heard all about my dog before he put me straight! Whoops! You call them veterinarians I believe. Wally - This is another term for someone who has been a bit stupid. Unlike the previous examples, this one is safe with the elderly or the young. Wazzock - The same as a pillock - it's someone who has done something stupid. Not too offensive. Weed - Every school has their fair share of weeds. They are the skinny little wimps that wear glasses and get picked on. A healthy part of growing up, I'm sure. Woofter - If you are a gay man you might be called a "woolly woofter" or just woofter. This is one of the less offensive terms. Wuss - Pronounced "woos" this is another word for a big girl's blouse, or namby pamby. Yank - An American. The Brits refer to the Americans as "yanks" in general. Whether you are from the north or the south! You lot - You guys. My Dad would often come and find my brothers and I up to no good. He would say "what are you lot up to"?