INFORMAL CONTRACTIONS

Informal Contractions

Informal contractions are short forms of other words that people use when speaking casually. They are not exactly slang, but they are a little like slang.

For example, "gonna" is a short form of "going to". If you say "going to" very fast, without carefully pronouncing each word, it can sound like "gonna".

Please remember that these are informal contractions. That means that we do not use them in "correct" speech, and we almost never use them in writing. (If you see them in writing, for example in a comic strip, that is because the written words represent the spoken words or dialogue.) We normally use them only when speaking fast and casually, for example with friends. Some people never use them, even in informal speech.

It is probably true to say that informal contractions are more common in American English.

Also note that, unlike normal contractions, we do not usually use apostrophes (') with informal contractions when written.

Listed below are some common informal contractions, with example sentences. Note that the example sentences may be a little artificial because when we use a contraction we may also use other contractions in the same sentence, or even drop some words completely. For example:

* What are you going to do? >>
* Whatcha going to do? >>
* Whatcha gonna do?

or

* Do you want a beer?
* Do you wanna beer?
* D'you wanna beer?
* D'ya wanna beer?
* Ya wanna beer?
* Wanna beer?

These informal contractions are not "correct" English. Do not use them in a written exam, for example, except in appropriate situations.

* ain't = am not/are not/is not
I ain't sure.
You ain't my boss.
* ain't = has not/have not
I ain't done it.
She ain't finished yet.

* gimme = give me
Gimme your money.
Don't gimme that rubbish.
Can you gimme a hand?

* gonna = going to
Nothing's gonna change my love for you.
I'm not gonna tell you.
What are you gonna do?

* gotta = (have) got a
I've gotta gun.
I gotta gun.
She hasn't gotta penny.
Have you gotta car?
* gotta = (have) got to
I've gotta go now.
I gotta go now.
We haven't gotta do that.
Have they gotta work?

* kinda = kind of
She's kinda cute.

* lemme = let me
Lemme go!

* wanna = want to
I wanna go home.

* wanna = want a
I wanna coffee.

* whatcha = what are you
Whatcha going to do?
* whatcha = what have you
Whatcha got there?

* ya = you
Who saw ya?

CHAT SLANG

Chat, E-Mail, Web, and chat room slang and acronyms
AAK Alive And Kicking
AAR At Any Rate
AAS Alive And Smiling
ADN Any Day Now
AFAIK As Far As I Know
AFK Away From the Keyboard
AFN that's All For Now
AOTA All Of The Above
a/s/l or asl Age/Sex/Location - (used to ask a chatter their personal information)
AV Avatar - Graphical representation (a picture) often used in chat rooms to depict a person that is in the room and chatting.
b4 Before
BAK Back At Keyboard (I'm back)
BBL Be Back Later
BBS Be Back Soon
BCNU I'll Be Seeing You.
b/f Boyfriend (also shown as bf, B/F, or BF)
BEG Big Evil Grin
BFN Bye For Now
BMA Bite My A** (became popular with the Simpson's cartoon show)
boot To get kicked out of a chat room, or have to restart the computer because you couldn't talk in the chat room anymore.
BR Best Regards
BRB Be Right Back
BRH Be Right Here
BSEG Big S**t Eatin Grin
BTA But Then Again....
BTW By The Way
btw BeTWeen you and me ...
chat room A web page where people gather using software that allows them to talk to one another in real time.
CRS Can't Remember S**t
CU See You - also posted as cya
CUS Can't Understand S**t (stuff)
CNP Continued in Next Post (seen more on message boards than chat)
CP Chat Post
CUL8R See You Later
CUOL See You On Line
CYA See Ya
dd, ds, dh Darling or Dear: Dear Son, Dear Daughter, or Dear Husband. Usually exchanged in family chats.
DDSOS Different Day, Same Old S**t
DEGT Don't Even Go There (I don't want to talk about it)
DIKU Do I Know You?
DIS Did I Say
D/L, DL, d/l, dl Downloading, or Download it.
EG Evil Grin
EM E-Mail
EMA E-mail Address (example: ?ema or ema? = what is your email address)
EOT End Of Thread (meaning end of discussion)
ez or EZ easy (one of the really old ones)
F2F Face To Face
FAQ Frequently Asked Question
FISH First In Still Here (someone who is on line TOO much)
FITB Fill In The Blanks
flame to insult someone. Used when a person asks a stupid question, or says something rude to irritate the users of a chat room or message board.
FOCL Falling Off Chair - Laughing
forum What todays message boards are called. Often using php as defining language to quickly write 'real time' messages and replies to a web site (or page)
FTS F*** This S***
fu f*** you (If you can't figure this one out, you shouldn't be on line)
FUBAR "Fouled" Up Beyond All Repair / Recognition
FUD Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt
FWIW For What It's Worth
FYI For Your Information
GA Go Ahead
GAL Get A Life
gest Gesture ... a small multimedia file played over the internet, usually expressing an emotion or comment.
g/f Girlfriend (also shown as gf, G/F, or GF)
GFN Gone For Now
GGOH Gotta Get Outta Here
GMTA Great Minds Think Alike
GR Gotta Run
GR&D Grinning, Running, and Ducking.
GTR Got To Run
GTRM Going To Read Mail (leaving chat room to check email)
H&K Hugs and Kisses
hack person who breaks into software, or disrupts a chat room.
HAGD Have A Good Day
HAGO Have A Good One
Halsoft Name of a company that purchased the brand of Chat that Excite offered, now a pay as you go service.
HB Hurry Back
Hosts Refers to the people that are running the chat room, they usually have the ability to kick a person off due to rude behavior.
HTH Hope That Helps
huggles Hugs
IAC In Any Case
IB I'm Back
IC I See
IDN I Don't kNow
IDK I Don't Know
IDTS I Don't Think So
IANAL I'm Am Not A Lawyer (expect an uninformed opinion)
IC I See
ICQ I Seek You. A computer program used to communicate instantly over the Internet.
ILU or ILY I Love You
IM Instant Message
IMHO In My Humble Opinion (or In My Honest Opinion)
IMO In My Opinion
IOH I'm Out of Here
IOW In Other Words
IRL In Real Life
IYO In Your Opinion
JAS Just A Second
JIC Just In Case
JK Just Kidding
JMO Just My Opinion
JW Just Wondering
k, K, or kk O. K.
KIT Keep In Touch
L8R Later (an early one, kind of outdated with current 'young geeks')
LMAO Laughing My Ass Off
LFFAO Laughing My F***(freaking) Ass Off
LOL Laughing Out Loud
LTNS Long Time No See
LTS Laughing To ones Self
LY I Love Ya.
LYL Love You Lots
Message Board. A web page where people write comments, and those comments are than added to that web-page for others to view. Used to carry on conversation, request information, and relay messages.
MUG Refers to a new user of that chat program, goes back to Excite VP days when the AV (or icon) that represented someone new was a picture of a coffee mug.
NE1 Anyone
newbie refers to a person who is new to an area or technology. Also seen as nube, nooby, nubie, nb, etc.
NFW No Feasible (or F***ing) Way
NIMBY Not In My Back Yard
nm, or NM Never Mind
NP, np No Problem
NRN 1. No Response Necessary
2. Not Right Now
NT No Thanks
OBTW Oh, By The Way.
OIC Oh, I See
OF Old Fart, someone who has been around for a while.
OJ or OK Only Joking or Only Kidding
OL the Old Lady
OM the Old Man
OMG Oh My Gosh (although it's usually used with the Lords name in place of "gosh")
OT Off Topic
oth or OTH Off The Hook: Something is really popular, or hot. Very exciting.
otr or OTR Off The Rack: Saying that something is outside the ordinary.
OTE Over The Edge (beyond common sense or beyond good taste)
OTOH On The Other Hand ...
OTOMH Off the Top of My Head ...
OTW On The Way ... I've sent a file to you, it's "On the way"
P911 My parents are in the room. P=Parents, and 911=emergency, in other words either drop the subject, or watch the language.
PANS Pretty Awesome New Stuff (often referring to computer technology)
PCMCIA Personal Computer Memory Cards International Association
PCMCIA People Can't Master Computer Industry Acronyms (slang)
PEBCAK Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard
peeps People. example: "There sure are a lot of peeps in this room" - meaning a lot of people are in the chat room.
peep this Hey, listen to this, I've got some interesting news.
PITA Pain In The Ass
PLZ Please
PMJI Pardon Me for Jumping In (when you enter into a new conversation)
poof when someone leaves a chat room, often seen as *poof* as in boy he *poofed* in a hurry.
POTS Plain Old Telephone Service
POS Parents are looking Over my Shoulder.
POTS Parents Over The Shoulder - (My parents are watching, I can't really talk)
PPL People
QT Cutie
RFC Request For Comments (used more in newsgroups, a page or pages that supply technical information)
rl or RL Real Life (as opposed to being online)
r m or RM Ready Made: pre-existing
ROFL Rolling On Floor, Laughing
ROTF Rolling On The Floor (laughing is implied)
ROTFLMAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
ROTFLMFAO Rolling On The Floor Laughing F(***ing) My Ass Off
RSN Real Soon Now
r/t Real Time (also: RT, or rt)
RTFM Read The "Flippin" Manual (response to beginner question on net, chat, newsgroups, etc.)
RU aRe yoU?
SEG Shit Eating Grin
SH Same Here
SMS Short Message Service (more cell phones and pagers than chat rooms and the Internet)
SN Screen Name. The name or moniker selected by person in an IM or chat program. ex: My "SN" in vp was "-lone.wolf"
SNAFU Situation Normal, All "Fouled" Up
SO Significant Other
SOL Shit Out Of Luck
SOS Same Old S**t (stuff)
SOTA State Of The Art (latest technology)
SPST Same Place, Same Time
SSDD Same S**t, Different Day
STR8 Straight (can refer to sex, or DSTR8 as in Damn Straight)
STW Search The Web
SY Sincerely Yours
SYL See You Later
TAFN That's All For Now
TC Take Care
TFH Thread From Hell (a topic or discussion that won't stop - esp. newsgroups)
TGIF Thank Goodness It's Friday
THX Thanks!
TIA Thanks In Advance
TM Text Message (often refers to communications with text over cell phones)
TMI Too Much Info. (information)
TNT 'Til Next Time
TPS That's Pretty Stupid
TPTB The Powers That Be (can sometimes refer to the people that are running the chat room or server)
TRDMF Tears Running Down My Face: Can be with either laughter, or due to saddness.
TS Tough S**t
TSFY Tough S**t For You
TTFN Ta-Ta For Now
TTTT These Things Take Time
TTYL Talk To You Later
TY Thank You
TYT Take Your Time
TYVM Thank You Very Much
VPPH Virtual Places Page Host
US You Suck
usa or USA Until Sides Ache: Usually used with one of the laughter acronyms such as "lolusa" Laughing Out Loud Until my Sides Ache. I've also heard that some folks substitute ush for "Until Sides Hurt". rotflolush = rolling on the floor, laughing out loud, until my sides hurt.
UV Unpleasant Visual
UW yoU're Welcome
UY Up Yours
vp or VP Virtual Places: A brand of chat offered by Excite in the late 90s and early 2000.
WB Welcome Back (you say this when someone returns to a chat room)
WC WelCome
WEG Wicked Evil Grin
WEU What's Eating You?
WFM Works For Me
WIIFM What's In It For Me?
WTG Way To Go
WTF What The F**K
WT? What The ...? or Who the ...?
WTGP? Want To Go Private? (move to a private chat room)
WWJD What Would Jesus Do?
YAA Yet Another Acronym
YBS You'll Be Sorry
YL Young Lady
YM Young Man
YMMV Your Mileage May Vary
YR Yea, Right. (sarcastic)
*ys* You Stinker
YVW You're Very Welcome
YW You're Welcome



Emoticons: (symbols used to display feeling)

Note: For these little things called "emoticons" Often the idea is to turn your head sideways, and it makes a picture on a lot of the smiley faces. ;-) for example where the ; (semi-colon) are the eyes, the - is the nose, and the ) is the mouth. Also, you see some people use the hyphen (-) to show the nose, while others will show the same expression without the nose. Example: ;-) and ;) signify the same thing.

*s*, *S*, , = smile *g*, = grin xoxo = hugs and kisses huggggggsssss = hugs
*w*, = wink *g*, = giggles *k*, *K* = kiss ;-)~~~~~~~~ = giving someone the raspberries.
(((((person))))) = giving them a virtual hug. \~/ = glass with a drink. (usually booze) ^5 = high five ?^ = What's Up?
\_/? = a cup of tea [_]> + Cup of coffee @@@ = Cookies @--/-- = a rose
:-) .. smile ;-) ... wink <:-| ... curious :~) ... cute :-( ... sad 8-) ... wears glasses :-} ... embarrassed :-/ ... perplexed, confused :,-( ..or ;`-( .... to cry :-< ... pouting >:-( ... angry 0:-) ... angel
:-| ... bored or no opinion :-> ... grin/mischievous | -) ... dreaming :-O ... shouting, or shocked
:-o ... talking, or surprised >:-|| ... mad / angry :-D ... big grin or laugh =:-O ... scared
:-x ... keeping mouth shut :o) ... smiles (w/nose) :-))))))) ... lots of smiles ;-P ... sticking tongue out
:P ... sticking tongue out
# 8 - ) ... nerd, or or person with glasses and crew cut. &-( ... crying !:-) .. I have an idea ;-{ ) ... person with a mustache
;-)~ ... sexy tongue - or drunk ;~) ... being cute c["] ... coffee mug [_]> ... another cup or mug
:-> ... grin/mischievous <:-| ... curious |-| ... sound asleep :-x .. I'm keeping my mouth shut


Another few side notes:
Related Links
0 can be O or vice versa, (the letter and the number are often interchangeable)
1 = won or one, (1dr = wonder)
2 = too, to, or two,
3 = the letter E, (so 's33 U' means See you)
4 = for, four, or a prefix of suffix of 'fore. (b4 = before, 4warned = forewarned),
8 is usually either a pair of eyes, glasses, or ate, although it gets used a lot for making pictures,
9 is a good thing (he was dressed to the 9s means he was all dressed up),
B = be,
C = see, (IC means I see)
G = gee,
K = OK, (so k, or kk means I'm OK)
M = am,
N = in,
O = oh,
R = Are,
U = You,
g = grin,
s = smile,

* Computer Acronyms
* Web, Network, and Internet terms and acronyms
* Beginners chat terms
* Computer slang, jargon, and terms.

Lingo Index | Help | Home | Sitemap

A few more quick notes on how this "slang and lingo" is created:
They can be put together in many different ways. Also, you will find some kids mixing numbers in with letters, so if you see:
"h3 l3Ft" substitute the 3 with an E, forget about the caps, and you have "he left".
You will also notice 2 odd items,
1. people tend to extend letters in chat rooms to convey emotion, so HEYYYYYYYY BILLLLLLLL, simply means someone is expressing a lot of emotion in saying hello to Bill.
2. Vowels get left out a lot in chat, and that's wrd. (in this case, weird, although I've seen it mean word)
And lastly, you will see the letter z everywhere. Usually it replaces s or es (the plural of something)
i.e.: 2 many billz = I have too many bills. Although that z gets tossed around a lot, as in hugzzzz, thankz, huggelzzzz, kkz, for OK, etc. Stick with it a while, and you'll be able to catch most of it.

There are also a few terms used with the text messaging more than in chat rooms. Since my generation doesn't really do a lot of that, I only know a few of them:
1040 means you owe me big time (tax form?... get it?)
86 means you're done, or we are outta here.
747 means let's fly, or we're leaving.
360 means I love you back, or right back at you.

143 means I love you (don't ask me why) Thanks to Tom Weiss and his better half for the answer to this one. Tom says that his lady informed him that
[1=I, 4=Love, and 3=You]
so the meaning comes from the number of letters in each word. Thanks Tom.


% is usually to replace the double o 'oo' , as in T%K means took,
& replaces 'and' so b& would be band,
Other than that I am not real up to date with the SMS lingo.

I'm sure there is a ton of this lingo I don't know (hey, the kids have to have some things to themselves). This is not the "be all end all" of acronyms, lingo, and slang, only the terms I've heard and seen posted. Most of this slang refers to chat room short hand, message board and forum posts, Instant Message programs, or text messaging with cell phones. But as I become privy to it, I'll pass it along. You are welcome to send me any I don't have, perhaps I'll post it. That about wraps thing up for now, so ......

Final Note: If you don't see an acronym here that you are looking for, try one of the other pages. Perhaps I felt it belong in a different category other than chat slang. If you have a suggestion for an item I've overlooked, or something new I've not heard of yet, feel free to contact me and submit your "chat slang, jargon, lingo. or emoticon".

L8R All, tnt, ttyl,

Ched

AROUND THE HOUSE

Around the house...



Action replay - During the world cup the England team scored so few goals we had to watch each one several more times on the action replay. Probably as many times as you watched the USA team on instant replays.

Aga - A type of stove that not only cooks the dinner but in many cases, heats the water and the house too. You used to find an Aga in most farmhouses but they have become a status symbol in the UK and have become very popular in any sort of house.

Airing cupboard - In British houses we have a hot water tank in a cupboard off the landing or in one of the bedrooms. Since it is warm in there, we usually hang clothes in it to let them air. That's why we call it the airing cupboard. In my house in Texas, the hot water tank was in the garage.

Answerphone - We like to refer to our answering machines as answerphones.

Bathroom - Again, the clue is in the name. In a British house, you will find a bath in the bathroom. (In smaller houses there may also be a toilet). So when we are going to the bathroom - we are not answering a call of nature - we're going for a bath! Always causes problems when Americans visit UK families this one - I'm sure they think we wee in the sink!

Beading - This is the stuff that goes around the edge of cheap furniture. Wood trim to you chaps.

Bedsit - This is the kind of accommodation many students live in when they cannot afford anything else. It is basically a single room with a bed, cooker, table and sofa. You would normally share the bathroom. The nearest thing you have in the US is an efficiency.

Bin - Trash can. You would put a bin liner in it before you put the rubbish in it to keep it clean. Bin day is the day that the bin men in the bin lorry come and empty your dustbin. A bin would normally mean the one in your house - whereas the dustbin would normally mean the one outside - though that sometimes gets called the bin too.

Bin bag - The black bag that you put inside the kitchen bin to save you having to wash out the bin each time you empty it. Often comes with a draw string so that you can tie the top shut and avoid nasty niffs when you put it in the dustbin.

Bin day - For some reason - everywhere I have lived in the world, bin day is on Monday. I'm sure somewhere it happens on another day but not anywhere I've been!

Bin liner - This is another word for bin bag.

Bin lorry - The vehicle that the bin men drive.

Bin men - The chaps that come around at 6am and wake the entire street up with their bin lorry to empty your dustbins. Sometimes the rubbish even goes in the lorry! I'm sure they have some kind of machine that singles out the crisp bags and deposits them along the street!

Blower - The blower is the telephone, before you get too excited!

Bog - A vulgar word for the toilet, either the room or the pan itself.

Box - If you hear a Brit complaining that there is nothing on the box, he would be talking about the lack of viewing pleasures on the television.

Brolly - Short for umbrella. An essential item in England!

Budgie - One of the most popular pets in the UK, a budgie is a small green bird. Budgie is short for budgerigar, which is a small Australian parakeet. Generally they get eaten by the cat or when you let them out, they find the only open window in the house and let themselves out!

Bungalow - A house with no upstairs. A single storey house. Not popular with anyone but the old.

Caravan - Everyone in the UK hates caravans - except caravan owners, that is. They are the trailer homes that come out every summer and block all our little British roads and bring everyone to a complete standstill. Aaaaaargggggg! Unlike your RVs they need to be towed as they only have 2 wheels and cannot be driven.

Ceefax - This is the text service found on the TV. On British TVs each channel has a text service as an alternative to the regular programming. You can hit the mute and press the TEXT button and read several hundred pages of info from TV listings to news, from the lottery results to cheap holiday deals. Ceefax is the BBC version. On the commercial channels, the equivalent is teletext.

Continental quilt - This is what we used to call duvets. Since the UK was the last country in Europe to figure out what they were, we seem to have made up name a for them. Now we just call them duvets.

Cooker - The thing in your kitchen that you use to cook things on or in. The top is the hob and the inside is the oven. You refer to it as a range or stove.

Corn dolly - On the top of some thatched houses there is a model of an animal - often a pheasant. These are made of straw (the same as the roof) and are just there for decoration. Keep a look out for them as you drive around the English countryside.

Couch - Sofa to you. America has some of the largest furniture in the world, yet the only sofa too small to make love in, you call a Love Seat!

Council house - A council house is a government built house to help people on lower incomes have a home. They all used to be rented from the government but now most tenants have the option to buy relatively cheaply to help them get on the house ownership ladder. Most council houses are fairly large, for families, but not terribly attractive. Called projects in some places in the USA.

Council estate - A council estate is a neighbourhood of council houses.

Cubby hole - A cubby hole is a small nook or cranny. It originated as a word for the glove box in a car but is now less fussy about its use.

Cupboard - Any closet in the house. Cupboards in the kitchen contain food, crockery, cutlery etc. In the bedroom they contain clothes and sometimes skeletons.

Des res - If someone lives in a particularly nice property in a nice part of town it would be referred to as a des res. It is short for desirable residence and usually means bloody expensive!

Dresser - Dresser hutch or china cabinet seem to be the closest US words for this item of furniture which lives in the kitchen or dining room. The bottom half is an enclosed cabinet and the top is an open, doorless cabinet for standing plates in upright.

Dust cart - Another word for the lorry that the bin men drive.

Dustbin - When you empty your bins the day before bin day, you put them in the dustbin outside.

Duvet - Most Brits have dispensed with blankets and sheets and now sleep under a duvet. It is similar to a comforter but has a removable cover that can be washed. Duvet's warmth is measured in togs, 2 or 3 togs for summer duvets and 11 or more for winter ones.

Earth - This, in electrical terms is what you call ground. You will find appliances that say "this appliance must be earthed" for example. Or when wiring an electrical plug the third pin will be marked "earth".

Eiderdown - Before Brits started to sleep under duvets, they would cover their sheets and blankets with an eiderdown. Similar to a comforter it does not have a removable cover and is just there to add extra warmth and to look nice.

Emulsion - Our paint for the inside of houses is basically split into emulsion and gloss varieties. Emulsions for the walls and gloss for the woodwork and metal surfaces. Emulsions are water based and can come in matt or silk flavours, depending on whether you want a shine or not.

En-suite - If you are looking at Bed & Breakfast listings in the UK you might see reference to an en-suite. This is the bathroom and means that it is connected directly to the bedroom and therefore not shared.

Estate - This is short for a housing estate. You might call it a residential development or a subdivision. Basically it is a bunch of similar houses built far too close together and described as "highly desirable" by estate agents!

Flat - This is our word for an apartment. I met someone in Texas who had broken down in his car and he told me that he had a flat. I thought it was a strange time to tell me where he lived!

Flex - Although this is derived from the word "flexible", it is used as a noun to mean an electric cord or extension lead.

Garden - Not the vegetable patch or the flower beds. The garden is the yard. I always wondered why my American friends thought it was odd that Brits spend so much of the summer sitting in the garden!

Gazumping - When you buy a new house in the UK, you hope that you won't be gazumped. It's frowned on but it still goes on. When you make an offer on a house and the seller accepts it, they are not allowed to then accept a higher offer from another potential buyer. That would be gazumping.

Hand basin - This is another word for a sink. Usually refers to the kind found in bedrooms in some older houses. They are intended for washing your hands and face, rather than the dishes.

Hessian - This material is what they make sacks from and use on the back of carpets. I believe you call it burlap.

Hob - The bit on the top of the cooker is called the hob. You call it the burner.

Housing estate - This is what you'd call a subdivision.

Khazi - Another word for the toilet, generally used by older people.

Kitchen towel - Paper towel to you chaps.

Laundry basket - Where you chuck your smelly clothes when you take them off and before you wash them. Laundry hamper to you. To us that would imply a thing full of food, not smelly underwear. Surprise!

Loft - Our loft is your attic.

Loo - Either the toilet or the bathroom. The most common way to ask for the restroom in an English restaurant would to ask where the loo is. Try it - it works. More old ladies die whilst sitting on the loo than you would think. Official statistic. I know two that did!

Lounge - Our living room is called the lounge. We also say living room sometimes but lounge is probably more common.

Mobile home - Trailer home. These are not as common in England as they are in the US. I was shocked when I saw my first trailer home driving down I35 on the back of a lorry. I've heard of moving house but that is ridiculous. Of course we cannot use the term "trailer trash" since "mobile home rubbish" doesn't have the same ring about it!

Paper knife - A letter opener. Also used in murder mysteries to kill people, of course.

Paraffin - You call this kerosene. Equally a paraffin lamp would be one of those old fashioned lamps with paraffin in the base and a wick which is really hard to light. We still have them, but only when you go on scout camp!

Plaster board - Sheet rock in Texas. In the UK, plasterboard is used to make ceilings and is also used to make internal walls, it is then covered in a thin layer of real plaster, except in cheap modern houses. In Texas, entire houses are made from sheet rock, which is a bit worrying if it is windy or rainy! If the three little pigs had lived in Texas, they would have been eaten! In some states call it's called "plaster board" like it is here in the UK and others it's called drywall.

Power point - This would be an electric socket in the US. Ours have three pins, not two. The big one is earth and also serves to open the little doors where the other two pins go. This keeps little fingers out, in theory!

Run the bath - This means to fill the tub. Obviously you have to run the bath before you get in it.

Sand pit - Every parent buys a sand pit for the kids to play in and the cat to pee in. Sand boxes to you, now available with lids to keep the cat out!

Schooner - This is a rather ridiculous looking sherry glass, for what the pubs call a "large" sherry. It is not the same as the American glass of the same name.

Secateurs - You use a pair of secateurs to cut the shrubs in the garden down or to trim bushes. You would call them hedge clippers or pruning shears. I recently discovered that they use something like secateurs during a caesarean birth to cut your wife open. Not the most pleasant experience!

Settee - Sofa to you. Whether a small love seat or a big three seater.

Shammy - I think you call these wash leathers. They are the completely useless cloths, originally made from the skin of the chamois - a wild antelope, the size of a goat. They dry rigid and leave horrible streaks across the windows they are supposed to clean!

Skirting board - This is the wood that goes around the bottom of the wall and usually has bits of carpet fluff stuck to it where people were too impatient to wait for the paint to dry before laying the carpet! You chaps call it baseboard.

Tap - Faucet. There will be some on the sink in the loo!

Teletext - Whenever American friends come to visit us in England they are always fascinated by teletext. On our TVs, text is transmitted along with the programmes. You just press a button from any channel and you get the text channel. There you can book holidays, check the lottery results, read the news, check the weather and a hundred other things. And best of all - it's free.

Telly - The good old television. Still only four channels (actually there are FIVE now. Yikes!). Still no commercials on two of them, still very few commercials on the other two. British television was one of the things I missed most when I lived in Texas.

Thatch - There are still many houses in England that have thatch for their roof material. It is basically straw and is very picturesque. Amazingly it keeps the rain out pretty well, but is often covered in a fine wire mesh to keep the birds and mice out since they like it too.

To let - You'll see signs around England with "To Let" on them, outside properties. This is the same as to rent in the US. Kids love to add a letter "I" in between the two words to make "toilet".

Toilet - The Brits are not so shy about their use of the word toilet. In fact, it is perfectly reasonable to ask for the toilet in the most classy of establishments. Our first American visitor asked for the bathroom, shortly to return complaining there was no toilet there. Of course there wasn't! That is in the toilet! For some reason, you also call it a restroom though I have never seen anyone resting in one yet!

Trunk call - This is the old expression for a long distance call.

Video - We use this word to mean the video cassette recorder or VCR to you, as well as the video you put in it. Just like in the US - most people have no idea how to operate it. Only the under 10s have mastered most videos.

Wardrobe - Wardrobes are usually free standing wooden cupboards, designed for holding clothes on hangers. In America you have closets. A walk-in wardrobe is a walk-in closet.

White goods - When you visit a British store that sells things for the home you will find a section for white goods. These are the electrical appliances that you have in your kitchen or utility room like fridges, freezers, washing machines and driers. The name is cunningly derived from their colour!

Wireless - This is an old word for a radio. See if you can guess where the name came from!

FOOD AND DRINK

http://www.effingpot.com/food.shtml

FOOD AND DRINK

Clothing...

 

Anorak - A very untrendy kind of waterproof, padded coat with a zip. The sort of thing your mother made you wear when you were 10 and you still haven't forgiven her for it! Especially if she made you put the hood up when it rained. Possibly called a slicker in American. The worst thing about my anorak was that my Mum had tied my gloves together by passing a piece of string through the arms of the anorak. This would have been quite sensible if the big boys hadn't taken great delight in pulling one glove really hard and watching me punch myself in the face with the other hand! Balaclava - This is what you call a ski mask. You know - the knitted woollen thing that covers your whole head - with little holes for your eyes, nose and mouth. Not sexy for a first date - but damned useful for robbing banks. Boiler suit - An all-in-one coverall that protects clothes from oil and filth in dirty working conditions. Originally used my men working in boiler rooms. Boob tube - One of the more descriptive articles of ladies clothing, the boob tube is an elasticated tube that covers the boobs. In the US some people call the TV a boob tube. Wearing a boob tube would take on a whole new meaning! Watching boob tubes in the UK can get you arrested! I heard them called tube tops in the US. Brace - The metal thing you wear on your teeth to make them nicer when you grow up. Not to be confused with braces. Braces - The things you call suspenders, our braces hold our trousers up. Bum bag - Fanny pack in American. Watch the Brits snigger whenever you mention a fanny pack! It translates particularly badly - see fanny. Cagoule - A thin, windproof jacket. I used to have one that folded up into itself, which was just as well because it was yellow, so the smaller the better in my view. Used in outside pursuits because they take up almost no space when wrapped up. Mentioned in the British TV series "Absolutely Fabulous" - yes this is what they are talking about. Cardie - Cardigan. Sweater with buttons down the front like a shirt. Very popular with trainspotters but nobody else. Cozzy - Grab your cozzy - we're going swimming. It is short for your swimming costume, or bathing suit. Daps - See Pumps. Dinner jacket - Tuxedo. We usually refer to it as our DJ. Not to be confused with a Disc Jockey - we definitely don't wear them! Dressing gown - Robe to you. Dungarees - Overalls to you. Fine on kids but whatever you call them, grown men look ridiculous in them! Frock - This is the word for dress, though generally only used by older people. Your posh frock would be your best dress. Jersey - As well as being the name of an island near here it is also what we call a Sweater. Jumper - Another word for sweater. Knickers - This is what we call a ladies' panties. Not to their face, of course! Mac - Short for Macintosh, the Mac is a raincoat invented by a Mr Macintosh. Most likely heard in reference to dirty old men, or flashers, who are stereotyped as wearing Macs! Muffler - Don't worry if someone asks you if you would like to wear a muffler. They are not suggesting you wear an old car part round your shoulders. It's actually a big fluffy scarf. Nappy - Diaper to you. Pants - Don't make a comment about an Englishman's pants - they are his underwear! Same for ladies too, though knickers would be more common. We were in a pub in England one day when two attractive American girls walked in wearing quite short skirts and one loudly said to the other that she was cold and that she should have worn pants! Needless to say she instantly had the attention of every Englishman in the place, who thought there was nothing under her skirt! Pinafore - A pinafore dress is what you might call a jumper. Pinny - Mrs Tiggywinkle - the well beloved hedgehog from my childhood, always wore a pinny. Actually childish slang for pinafore. You might call it an apron, to protect the clothes from washing and cooking. It originates from "pin - afore". In other words you would "pin" it "afore" (in front of) your dress. Plimsolls - See Pumps. Polo neck - I can't believe they've come back into fashion - they look so stupid, like you are trying to hide a love bite. You call them turtle necks. Pullover - Yet another word for sweater. Hey it's cold here - we need several names for them! Pumps (Plimsolls, Daps) - You'd probably call them sneakers, but pumps were usually black and elasticated and you wore them during P.E. (Physical Education). They were also called plimsolls as they were invented by the same guy who invented the plimsoll line on ships. These days I'm sure kids wear the latest Nike or Reebok fashion shoes but pumps or plimsolls was what I wore and I was proud of them! By the way, pumps were what one family I used to know, used as the polite word for farts. Very strange - who pumped? Suspenders - This one is a bit worrying. Suspenders in English are the things that hold up a lady's (hopefully!) stockings. The first time a male American friend told me he was wearing suspenders to a party I thought it was a Rocky Horror Show party - so I wore suspenders too! Whoops! You call them garter belts. Swimming costume - This is what you wear to go swimming, obviously! You might call it a bathing suit. We also say swimsuit and cozzy. Tights - What you call pantyhose! Also a way that kids remember the difference between stalagmites and stalactites. The tights come down and the mites go up!!! Typical of the British education system. Trainers - Short for training shoes. You would call them sneakers. Trousers - What you call pants! Confused yet? My suspenders friend also told me that he would be wearing pants with his suspenders. Kinky! Undies - Your underwear. Normally your pants rather than any other item. Vest - Worn by old men and anyone who is nesh (a wimp!), a vest is worn under your shirt to keep you warm. Comes in string vest or plain. You call them undershirts. Waistcoat - Worn under your dinner jacket, the waistcoat is called a vest in America. Wellies - Wellington Boots, named after the Duke of Wellington. Called galoshes in America.

british slang words

People...

 

Anorak - No - not an article of clothing (though it means that too), an anorak is another word for a nerd or a square. Apparently originated from the anoraks that were worn by trainspotters whatever the weather. If you are described as being a bit of an anorak, beware! Barmaid - A female bartender in a pub is called the barmaid. Barman - The bartender in a pub is called the barman. Barrister - An attorney that would represent you in court. Not that I know, of course! Beefeater - This is the name given to the guards at the Tower of London and a chain of cheap steak restaurants. One is worth visiting, one is worth avoiding! Bender - A bender is a gay man. Also referred to as a woofter and a few rather unsavoury terms that you'll have to visit England to find out! Berk - A fool. I remember giggling every time James Burke came on telly when I was kid. Also spelt "burk". The origin is quite interesting - it is another rhyming slang word that many people don't even realise is short for "Berkeley-Hunt", who was an 1890s stage idiot. Hunt rhymes with, well use your imagination! It's OK to say berk. Big girl's blouse - This is a nice way of saying someone is a wimp. It means someone is being pathetic. It works well for girls and blokes. The Bill - The police, or the thing you ask for after a meal in a restaurant. In the US that is called the check. Bint - A bint is a woman or your bird. Bird - Your bird is your girl. A bit old fashioned and only used by your Dad or Grandad. Not very politically correct. Bloke - A guy in American. A "good bloke" would be like a "nice guy". Bobby - Yet another word for policeman. Boffin - This is the word for a nerd. Usually male, a boffin would be highly intelligent, have no dress sense and probably grow up to be a mad scientist or an HTML programmer! Bonce - Your bonce is your head! So if someone tells you to use your bonce it means "think about it". Bristols - This is a good example of a word that most Brits would know, but not necessarily realise it was derived from rhyming slang. Bristols means breasts. If you haven't worked it out yet, bristols is short for bristol city's (a football team), city's rhymes with titties, i.e. breasts! Easy huh! Brum - Short for Birmingham. People from brum are brummies and they speak brum, a kind of English! Brummy - A person from Birmingham who speaks brum. Bum chum - Another name for a gay man. We have lots of other expressions, too numerous to list here. Some of the less offensive include shirtlifter and arse bandit. Buns - Some elderly ladies have buns on their heads. This is not a terrible deformity, the bun is actually rolled up hair in the shape of a currant bun. Burk - Fool. I remember giggling every time James Burke came on telly when I was kid. Also spelt berk. Busker - Street entertainer to you. Someone who makes his or her living by singing, playing or acting on the street to amuse the crowds of passers by. Busking is down to a fine art at Covent Garden in London - it's worth the trip. Reminds me of the buskers outside Quincey Market in Boston. Butterfingers - You would call someone butterfingers if they were clumsy and dropped something. Cack-handed - Someone who is cack-handed is clumsy. My Mum was putting her buns in the oven one afternoon and tipped the tray upside down and said she was all cack-handed. Also referred to as caggy handed in some places and means left handed in others. Cake hole - This is another one I heard a lot as a kid. My Dad use to say "Shut your clanging cake hole". Now that I am a foot taller than him he might say something more like "Could you please be quiet"! It basically means your mouth. Cashier - This is the person in the bank who talks to the public over the counter. You would call them tellers. Chalk and cheese - This isn't some weird British recipe, it is short for the expression "as different as chalk and cheese". You hear it when people are bitching about other couples they know who are very different to each other. You might say like night and day. Chap - A guy in American. Men and women are sometimes referred to as chaps and chapesses. Chav - Another of our lovely derogatory terms for someone from the peasant underclass. Dress code is important - designer or fake designer lables, hoodies and often lots of bling. The name may come from the Council House and Vauxhall acronym as the car of choice is the Vauxhall Nova. The guys are Chavsters and the girls are Chavettes. Christian name - This is your first name. You would see it on forms that require both parts of your name separately. We generally ignore middle initials as fairly irrelevant and avoid the use of additions like "junior" and "IIIrd", unless you happen to be a king, of course. Chuck - Another term of endearment from up north. Pronounced more like chook. Rhymes with dook! Chum - Your chum is your friend. We might also say mate. Clever clogs - Same as clever dick and smart arse - this is a wise guy. Clever dick - This is a bit of a wise guy, not performing tricks with certain parts of the body! Clot - If someone calls you a clot, please be offended. It means you are stupid. A dim wit! Of course, if you really are a clot, then you probably won't notice! Cloth ears - This is the polite way to call someone a deaf git! Politely put it simply means you are deaf. Codger - An old codger is an old bloke. An old timer to you. Copper - Either a policeman or the coins in your pocket that are not silver. Dapper - If you are particularly well dressed, you would be described as being dapper. Dim wit - Someone who is thick is a dim wit or just dim. Avoid using this word when addressing police in the UK, but feel free to try it in the US! Dip stick - Apart from being something you find in your car, a dip stick is someone who is stupid or who has done something stupid. I get called it all the time! Divvy - This is another word like dip stick for someone who is a bit stupid. Dog's body - A dog's body is a gofer. Someone who gets all the menial tasks to do, like fetching and carrying. It doesn't mean they have four legs and a tail. Don - I recently took a friend from Austin to Oxford to punt up the river and have a cream tea in the university. We ate in the main hall of one of the colleges and at one end there is separate table for the dons. They are the professors at Oxford or Cambridge universities. Duck - Another term of endearment from up north. Pronounced more like "dook". Rhymes with "chook"! Duffer - An old duffer is either someone who is not very good at something or someone who is old. Like an old geezer. Dustman - The man who empties your dustbin. garbage collector in the US. Estate agents - The people who can make even the most disgusting property sound desirable - real estate agents to you. Father Christmas - Santa Claus in America, though I'm not sure he's the same bloke. I saw him in London when I was leaving for New York, and when I arrived, hey he was there too! Fire brigade - This is the fire department. Dial 999 for a demonstration. Flat mate - This is what you call a room mate. It's someone you share your flat with. After all the clue is in the name. Whenever an American tells me they have a room mate I worry about them sharing a room at their age - or even question their sexuality! Flower - Whenever I visit my relatives up north I seem to be called "flower" quite often. It is simply a term of endearment. I reckon they call you that when they can't remember your real name! Forehead - Actually this is the same word in both languages. It is just the pronunciation that is different. Generally in the US it is pronounced fore-head and in the UK it is forrid. Fresher - During your first year at university you would be referred to as a fresher. You would be called a freshman in the US. Gaffer - This is a word for an old bloke or a workman's boss or the foreman of a team of labourers. A "good gaffer" would be a good boss. Geezer - Another word for bloke but mostly heard in London. Git - I have never been able to describe this northern term for someone who is a jerk, an undesirable, a prat. "You ignorant git" is a popular use of the word. Gob - This word is used as a noun, meaning your mouth, hence the gobstopper is used to fill it up! The other use is as a verb. You would not gob your gobstopper out as it would be rude. Some people gob on the pavement, meaning they spit green stuff out in public. Not nice. Gooseberry - To be a gooseberry is to be the third person on a date. If two guys are in bar and one of them successfully chats up a girly, his mate becomes a gooseberry and feels a bit awkward! You would feel a bit of a gooseberry if you accompanied a couple on a date. Grockles - This is a word I heard a lot when I was a kid in the West Country. It means tourists. So if you hear someone in the UK mention the word "grockles" they are probably talking about you! Guard - When travelling by train, the man that collects your tickets is called a guard, not a conductor as you have in the US. Strangely if it was a bus we would call them a conductor, even though they don't have a baton and there is no orchestra in sight! Gumby - This is mild insult that is safe to use in public when someone is not using their brain. Used with people you know usually, though you could try calling your British waiter a gumby when he brings you water with no ice in it - see where the water ends up! Guv - I've been called "Guv" or "Guv'nor" a few times by taxi drivers in London. It's an East End expression, short for "Governor" which roughly translates as Sir, used to address a man when you don't know his name. Gypo - A Gypsy. In England they are generally not welcomed by people. They stick their caravans on the odd bit of green space, wreck it and come around the neighbourhood offering tree cutting services and leaving a wake of suspicion. Hooray Henry - I am not aware of an American equivalent to a hooray henry. It is a phrase that came in a few years ago to describe the young upper class. They talk like they have a plum in their mouths and say things like "OK yar"! Similar to yuppie. Hooter - Your hooter is your nose. The clue is in the noise you make when you blow it! Some people even have one that looks like a hooter, just for effect I think. It's also the horn on a car. Just imagine how shocked Brits must be when they go to the bar you have called Hooters and they find that the waitresses all have normal noses - disappointing! Jammy beggar - You may hear people being called a jammy bugger, jammy beggar or jammy bastard. It just means they have been lucky! Job's worth - A job's worth is a person who is inflexible in their job, even if it means upsetting their customer. For example, if a restaurant served custard with apple pie and you wanted ice cream instead, a job's worth would be the kind of waiter who would refuse to give you ice cream because it wasn't listed like that on the menu. The excuse would be that it was more than their job's worth. Konk - This is not a very nice way of describing someone's nose. Lad - A young man who is somewhat boisterous and crude. As in "he's being a real lad". Ladette - The female equivalent to the lad. Not terribly ladylike! Landlady - The lady owner (or these days more often the manager) of a pub is called the landlady. Stems from the origin of most pubs being inns with accommodation. Many still do of course, though the name landlady applies to all pub owners, even if they have no rooms to let. Landlord - The same as landlady except where the proprietor is a bloke! Loaf - My Dad was always telling me to use my loaf. It means use your head and comes from rhyming slang. Loaf is short for loaf of bread, which rhymes with head. Lollipop man - Every kid loves the lollipop man (or lady of course). They stand in the middle of the street and hold this huge lollipop up to stop the traffic as the kids cross the road. Actually it's not a real lollipop - it is a sign that tells the traffic to "STOP, CHILDREN CROSSING". Sometimes called a crossing guard in the US. Long sighted - We say long sighted when you would say far sighted. Lug holes - These are your ears. Mate - Buddy or friend. You might go to the pub with your mates for a few lagers followed by a greasy doner. Mean - We often say people are mean if they are tight fisted, stingy or hold on to their money. This often confuses my American chums who think I'm talking about people being horrid. Minger - Not a nice word for someone who is butt ugly. Rhymes with "finger". Or you may also hear that someone is "minging", which is just another way of saying the same thing. Morris dancer - Around May, you are likely to see a group of morris dancers, seemingly sane men who dress up in knee length britches, long socks, with ribbons flying from various parts of their bodies. They dance around poles with long sticks in their hands much to the amusement of passers by. Then they go home and don't come out until the following May. Mother - Don't be alarmed if a British bloke says "Shall I be Mother?". This would happen when the family sit down to a pot of tea or a slice of cake and someone needs to pour or cut for everyone. Whoever gets to do the honours is being "Mother". Mum - Mom in the US. Namby pamby - Avoid being called a namby pamby when visiting the UK. It means you are acting like a big girl's blouse! You're being a wimp - like not having the courage to try haggis or black pudding. Naughty bits - If you have seen the British TV show "Monty Python" you may have come across this rather silly expression for describing ones genitals. Nobby no-mates - An imaginary name for someone with no friends. You call people this when they have not been invited to something you have, just to be horrid! Nosey parker - Someone who sticks their nose into everyone elses business. Nutter - Someone who is crazy would be described as a nutter - you might say a nutcase. Old Lag - Someone who is a bit old fashioned or behind the times. A bit of a laggard. On your tod - If you are on your tod it means you are all on your own. A more recent expression is to say you were Nobby no-mates. Ahh, sad! Page three girl - One of the cheap and cheerful newspapers in the UK is The Sun. It is most famous for it's page three girl, a different topless girl every day. Of course, most people buy it for the news. Mmmm! Pikey - A Pikey is a Gypo or someone who acts like one. Buys cheap, own brand goods and has no money. Shops in the the "cheap" shops and looks like it. A nice meal out might be to KFC for a bucket! Pillock - Another mildly insulting name for someone. If someone had just done something stupid you would say "you pillock". This one is safe in front of grandparents. Plod - The police. This one originates from an Enid Blyton character in the Noddy stories - Mr Plod the Policeman. I hope the Teletubbies don't make their way into the English language in the same way - just imagine - "I'm off to clean the carpet with the Noo Noo" or "I'm out of the closet now everyone knows I'm a Tinky Winky". Plonker - Either another word for your penis, your John Thomas or your dick. Or an inoffensive term for someone who is a bit of a wally. Most well known in the phrase "Rodney - you plonker" from the British sitcom - Only Fools and Horses. If someone is taking the piss, or making fun of you, they would also be "pulling your plonker". Po-faced - When we were kids, if someone told a rude joke at the dinner table and everyone laughed - sometimes my Dad would sit there po-faced. In other words he was not amused and would keep a straight face. Actually he would remember the joke for work but wasn't going to admit that to the kids was he now!! Probably derived from "poker faced". Ponce - Poncey things and poncey people are a bit girlie! It is not exactly another word for gay but it's getting close. A ponce is also another word for pimp, who lives off a prostitute's earnings. And it also has another meaning and that is to scrounge so one might try to ponce a fag off your mate, meaning you would scrounge a cigarette. Poofter - An extended version of the word "poof", this is how you could refer either to a gay man or to a guy who is being a bit of a nancy boy or woofter. Posty - Your postman is the posty. You would call him the mailman. Prefect - I hated the prefects at school. They are your peer students who are allowed to stay in at lunch times and guard the doors to keep the rest of us out in the cold and the rain - and that was just the summers! You might call them monitors though I'm not sure there is a direct translation. Punter - Punters are customers. Originally came from the betters at the racetracks but has extended in use to mean anyone who should be persuaded to part with their money. Randy - A friend of mine visited a company in the US and was asked to wait in the reception with a cuppa whilst the receptionist went to "get Randy". My friend said he was just hoping for a biscuit! Randy is not a name in England. It means you're horny or you're ready for sex. If your name is Randy, try alternative approaches with Brits! Red Indian - This is an Indian from America. You just call them Indians. We use the word "Indians" to mean people from India! Well the clue is in the name! Room mate - This is someone you share your bedroom with in a flat. We think you all share rooms because you use this expression to mean someone you share the whole flat with - get it right! Scatty - I know lots of scatty people. Otherwise known as scatterbrains. You would probably call them whacky but probably not whackerbrains! School leaver - This is what we call a college graduate. Next stop - work or university. Scouse - This is the language used by Liverpudlians (people from Liverpool, like me!). It is basically English but hard to understand. Rhymes with "house". Scouser - Someone from Liverpool would be a scouser. Scrubber - This is a nasty way of referring to a loose woman. Similar to tart or floozy. Septic - Try not to be offended, but this means an American. It's actually the rhyming slang for yank. Septic is short for "septic tank" and tank rhymes with yank. Now you know! Shareholder - Someone who owns shares in a company. You would call them stockholders. Short sighted - We say short sighted when you would say near sighted. Sideboards - Sideburns in the USA - though we say both words here. Skiver - A skiver is someone who evades something. For example a truant is someone who skives off school instead of studying - I should know! Slag - A slag or an "old slag" is not a very nice way of describing a woman who is a bit loose, a bit of a slapper. Slapper - A less offensive word than slag, this is another way of calling someone a tart, a major flirt. Smart arse - No - not a "clever bottom", this is someone who is a bit too clever for their own good. A wise guy. Often used to describe someone who has an answer for everything. Solicitor - This is our word for an attorney. So when we see signs in the US that say "No Soliciting" it sounds like attorneys are not welcome there. Well where are they welcome exactly? Sponger - Someone who borrows or begs and does nothing to earn their own money. People sponge off their friends or some who refuse to work and collect dole money sponge off the state. Spotty youth - This is a generic term used by older people to refer to teenagers. The "spotty" refers to the fact that they may well have acne. Sprog - A baby. Most people have between 2 and 3 sprogs in the UK. Except the Catholics who have lots! Squire - "Morning squire" is something you may hear in England. Squire is used to mean Sir. Staff - We use this word to refer to the employees in a company in general. Swot - We used to call the boys at school "girlie swots" if they preferred to do homework and study, rather than proper kids things like shoplifting and hiding from teachers. It was not cool to be a swot. Funny how they all ended up with the best jobs though - must be a coincidence! Tart - You old tart! That's what you'd say to someone whose morals are a little loose. A bit too much flirting. Normally you'd hear people being described as having been a tart after the office Christmas party, if they were caught snogging their secretary! People may also dress like a tart - maybe if their skirt is too short! Used to apply only to women but these days it is a mild insult used for both sexes. Thick - If someone is thick it means they are stupid. You might hear it said that someone is "thick as shi*" - that means they are really stupid! Thicko is a nicer way of saying someone is stupid though - try it on your friends! Toff - A toff is someone who is rather well spoken, upper class and looks down on the rest of us. My mate calls them "posh gits". Trainspotter - Not your mate. Not that you'd admit to anyway. A trainspotter is a particularly sad breed of middle-aged man, usually wearing a cardie and an anorak. He stands on the end of railway station platforms and writes down the registration numbers of trains. Fun eh? Pretty close to a nerd in American. Tramp - This is a homeless person who begs on street corners. We don't use this word in the flirting sense that you have. Turf accountant - This is one of the words we use to describe a bookie. You will see it outside their shops. We also use the expression "betting shop". The best place to bet, though, is on the racecourse - great fun. Ulcer - When I got an ulcer in Austin I went to about 5 drug stores before I found someone who had a clue what an ulcer might be. After speaking to all the pharmacists it was the spotty faced youth stacking the shelves in Albertson's who told me what I had was a canker. Up the duff - If a woman is up the duff it means she is pregnant. Very well - When someone says hello to you in England and asks how you are, please don't say good. Say you are "very well". Good is a behavioural thing, which would mean you are a good boy or girl and haven't been naughty today!! Which doesn't really answer the question, does it? Vet - In England, vets look after the health of our animals and pets. They are rarely seen loitering on street corners, begging for work or money. The first American who told me he was a vet heard all about my dog before he put me straight! Whoops! You call them veterinarians I believe. Wally - This is another term for someone who has been a bit stupid. Unlike the previous examples, this one is safe with the elderly or the young. Wazzock - The same as a pillock - it's someone who has done something stupid. Not too offensive. Weed - Every school has their fair share of weeds. They are the skinny little wimps that wear glasses and get picked on. A healthy part of growing up, I'm sure. Woofter - If you are a gay man you might be called a "woolly woofter" or just woofter. This is one of the less offensive terms. Wuss - Pronounced "woos" this is another word for a big girl's blouse, or namby pamby. Yank - An American. The Brits refer to the Americans as "yanks" in general. Whether you are from the north or the south! You lot - You guys. My Dad would often come and find my brothers and I up to no good. He would say "what are you lot up to"?

BRITISH SLANG WORDS

Ace - If something is ace it is awesome. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill. Aggro - Short for aggravation, it's the sort of thing you might expect at a football match. In other words - trouble! There is sometimes aggro in the cities after the pubs shut!
All right? - This is used a lot around London and the south to mean, "Hello, how are you"? You would say it to a complete stranger or someone you knew. The normal response would be for them to say "All right"? back to you. It is said as a question. Sometimes it might get expanded to "all right mate"? Mostly used by blue collar workers but also common among younger people.
Anti-clockwise - The first time I said that something had gone anti-clockwise to someone in Texas I got this very funny look. It simply means counter-clockwise but must sound really strange to you chaps! I think he thought I had something against clocks!
Any road - Up north (where they talk funny!!) instead of saying anyway, they say "any road"! Weird huh?
Arse - This is a word that doesn't seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as ass, but is much ruder. It is used in phrases like "pain in the arse" (a nuisance) or I "can't be arsed" (I can't be bothered) or you might hear something was "a half arsed attempt" meaning that it was not done properly.
Arse about face - This means you are doing something back to front.
Arse over elbow - This is another way of saying head over heels but is a little more descriptive. Usually happens after 11pm on a Saturday night and too many lagers! Some Americans say ass over teakettle apparently!
Arse over tit - Another version of arse over elbow, but a bit more graphic!
Arsehole - Asshole to you. Not a nice word in either language.
Arseholed - Drunk! Usually in the advanced stages of drunken stupor, someone would be considered "completely arseholed". Never me, of course!
As well - You chaps say also when we would say "too" or "as well". For instance if my friend ordered a Miller Lite, I would say "I'll have one as well". I often heard people saying something like "I'll have one also". You'd be more likely to hear someone in England ordering a pint of lager!
Ass - Your backside, but mostly a donkey!
Au fait - Another one of those French expressions that have slipped into the English language. This one means to be familiar with something. I'd say at the end of reading all this you'd be au fait with the differences between American and English!
Baccy - Tobacco. The sort you use to roll your own.
Bang - Nothing to do with your hair - this is a rather unattractive way of describing having sex. Always gets a smile from Brits in American hair dressers when they are asked about their bangs.
Barmy - If someone tells you that you're barmy they mean you have gone mad or crazy. For example you'd have to be barmy to visit England without trying black pudding!
Beastly - You would call something or somebody beastly if they were really nasty or unpleasant. Most people would consider you a snob or an upper class git if you used this word. People like Fergie can get away with it though.
Bees Knees - This is the polite version of the dog's bollocks. So if you are in polite company and want to say that something was fabulous, this phrase might come in handy.
Belt up - For some reason I heard this quite a lot as a kid. It's the British for shut up.
Bender - I used to go out on a bender quite frequently when I was at university. Luckily bender doesn't only mean a gay man, it also means a pub crawl or a heavy drinking session.
Bespoke - We say something is bespoke if it has been created especially for someone, in the same way that you say custom. For example a computer program might be bespoken for a client, or you may order a bespoke holiday, where the travel agent creates an itinerary around your exact requirements.
Best of British - If someone says "The best of British to you" when you are visiting the UK, it simply means good luck. It is short for "best of British luck".
Biggie - This is unusual. A biggie is what a child calls his poo! Hence the reason Wendy's Hamburgers has never really taken off in England - who would buy "biggie fries"? Yuck - I'm sure you wouldn't buy poo fries! The other meaning of Biggie is erection. It just gets worse!
Bite your arm off - This is not aggressive behaviour that a football fan might engage in. In fact it just means that someone is over excited to get something. For instance you might say that kids would bite your arm off for an ice cream on a sunny day.
Bladdered - This rather ugly expression is another way of saying you are drunk. The link is fairly apparent I feel!
Blast - An exclamation of surprise. You may also hear someone shout "blast it", or even "bugger and blast"!
Blatant - We use this word a lot to mean something is really obvious.
Bleeding - An alternative to the word bloody. You'll hear people say "bleeding hell" or "not bleeding likely" for example.
Blimey - Another exclamation of surprise. My Dad used to say "Gawd Blimey" or "Gor Blimey" or even "Cor Blimey". It is all a corruption of the oath God Blind Me.
Blinding - If something is a blinding success - it does not mean that any eyes were poked out with sharp sticks - it means it was awesome.
Blinkered - Someone who is blinkered is narrow minded or narrow sighted - they only see one view on a subject. It comes from when horses that pulled carriages wore blinkers to stop them seeing to the side or behind them which stopped them from being startled and only let them see where they were going.
Bloody - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. "bloody hell" or "bloody nora". Something may be "bloody marvellous" or "bloody awful". It is also used to emphasise almost anything, "you're bloody mad", "not bloody likely" and can also be used in the middle of other words to emphasise them. E.g. "Abso-bloody-lutely"! Americans should avoid saying "bloody" as they sound silly.
Blooming - Another alternative to the word bloody. You might hear someone say "not blooming likely" so that they don't have to swear.
Blow me - When an English colleague of mine exclaimed "Blow Me" in front of a large American audience, he brought the house down. It is simply an exclamation of surprise, short for "Blow me down", meaning something like I am so surprised you could knock me over just by blowing. Similar to "Well knock me down with a feather". It is not a request for services to be performed.
Blow off - Who blew off? Means who farted? Constant source of amusement to us Brits when you guys talk about blowing people off. Conjours up all sort of bizarre images!
Blunt - If a saw or a knife is not sharp we say it is blunt. It is also the way most of us speak! In America the knife would be dull.
Bob's your uncle - This is a well used phrase. It is added to the end of sentences a bit like and that's it! For example if you are telling someone how to make that fabulous banoffee pie you just served them, you would tell them to boil the condensed milk for three hours, spread it onto a basic cheesecake base, slice bananas on top, add some whipped double cream, another layer of banana and Bob's your uncle!
Bodge - We bodge things all the time here. I'm sure you do too! To do a bodge job means to do a quick and dirty. Make it look good for the next day or two and if it falls down after that - hey well we only bodged it! Applies to building, DIY, programming and most other things.
Bogey - Booger. Any variety, crusty dragons included!
Bollocks - This is a great English word with many excellent uses. Technically speaking it means testicles but is typically used to describe something that is no good (that's bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he's talking bollocks). Surprisingly it is also used in a positive manner to describe something that is the best, in which case you would describe it as being "the dog's bollocks". Englishmen who live in America take great delight in ordering specialised registration plates for their cars using the letters B.O.L.L.O.X. Good eh?
Bomb - If something costs a bomb it means that it is really expensive. We say it when we see the price of insurance in the US, you could try saying it when you see how much jeans or petrol cost over here!
Bomb - If something goes like a bomb it means it is going really well or really fast. Or you could say an event went down like a bomb and it would mean that the people really enjoyed it. In the US the meaning would be almost exactly the reverse.
Bonk - Same meaning as shag. Means to have sex. E.g. "Did you bonk him/her?".
Botch - There are two expressions here - to botch something up or to do a botch job. They both mean that the work done was not of a high standard or was a clumsy patch. My Dad used to always tell me that workmen had botched it up and that he should have done the work properly himself.
Bottle - Something you have after twenty pints of lager and a curry. A lotta bottle! This means courage. If you have a lotta bottle you have no fear.
Box your ears - Many young chaps heard their dads threaten to box their ears when I was a littlun. Generally meant a slap around the head for misbehaving. Probably illegal these days!!
Brassed off - If you are brassed off with something or someone, you are fed up. Pissed perhaps.
Brill - Short for "brilliant". Used by kids to mean cool.
Budge up - If you want to sit down and someone is taking up too much space, you'd ask them to budge up - move and make some space.
Bugger - This is another fairly unique word with no real American equivalent. Like bloody it has many uses apart from the obvious dictionary one pertaining to rather unusual sexual habits. My father was always shouting "bugger" when he was working in the garage or garden. Usually when he hit his thumb or dropped a nail or lost something. Today we might use the sh** or the f*** words but bugger is still as common. The fuller version of this would be "bugger it". It can also be used to tell someone to get lost (bugger off), or to admit defeat (we're buggered) or if you were tired or exhausted you would be buggered. You can also call someone a bugger. When I won £10 on the lottery my mate called me a "lucky bugger".
Bugger all - If something costs bugger all, it means that it costs nothing. Meaning it is cheap. If you have bugger all, it means you have nothing.
Bum - This is the part of your body you sit on. Your ass! It might also be someone who is down and out, like a tramp. You might also bum around, if you are doing nothing in particular, just hanging out. Finally to bum something means to scrounge it from someone.
Bung - To bung something means to throw it. For example a street trader might bung something in for free if you pay cash right now! Or you could say "bung my car keys over, mate".
Bung - A bung is also a bribe.
Butchers - To have a butchers at something is to have a look. This is a cockney rhyming slang word that has become common. The reason "butchers" means a look even though it doesn't rhyme is because it is short for "butchers hook" and "hook" of course, does rhyme.
C of E - The Church of England. Our official protestant church - of which the Queen is the head.
Chat up - To chat someone up is to try and pick them up. If you spotted a scrummy girly in a bar you might try to chat her up. Or a girl might try and chat up a chap!
Cheeky - "Eee you cheeky monkey" was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms - wrong!!
Cheerio - Not a breakfast cereal. Just a friendly way of saying goodbye. Or in the north "tara" which is pronounced sort of like "churar".
Cheers - This word is obviously used when drinking with friends. However, it also has other colloquial meanings. For example when saying goodbye you could say "cheers", or "cheers then". It also means thank you. Americans could use it in English pubs, but should avoid the other situations as it sounds wrong with an American accent. Sorry!
Cheesed off - This is a polite way of saying you are pissed off with something.
Chin Wag - This is another word for a Chat. You can probably tell why!
Chinese Whispers - This a good one. It refers to the way a story gets changed as is passes from one person to the next so that the end result may be completely different from what was originally said. Sound familiar?
Chivvy along - When I'm standing patiently in the checkout queue at Tesco I like to chivvy along the old ladies in front of me. If only they would stop fannying around and hurry up!
Chuffed - You would be chuffed to bits if you were really pleased about something.
Clear off! - This expression brings back memories of being a kid and stealing apples from people's gardens. Sometimes we would get caught and some old bloke would come out and shout "oi clear off you lot". It basically means get lost.
Cobblers - I have heard people say "what a load of cobblers" more than once. Maybe that's because I talk so much rubbish. An equivalent would be what a load of bollocks. It means you are talking out of your butt and has nothing to do with any kind of dessert! Derived from the cockney rhyming slang where Cobblers Awls = Balls!
Cock up - A cock up means you have made a mistake. It has nothing to do with parts of the male body.
Cockney rhyming slang - There are lots of words that make up cockney rhyming slang. These are basically rhyming words like "butchers hook" which means "look". If you are in London and you hear someone talk about a Septic they are probably talking about you - because it's short for "Septic tank" which equals "yank", which is our word for an American. How do you like that!
Codswallop - Another one I heard a lot as a kid - usually when I was making up excuses for how the window got broken or why my dinner was found behind the sofa. My Dad would tell me I was talking a load of codswallop. American kids might be talking baloney under the same circumstances.
Cor - You'll often hear a Brit say "cor"! It is another one of those expressions of surprise that we seem to have so many of. It will sometimes be lengthened to "cor blimey" or "cor love a duck", depending on where you are. "Cor blimey" is a variation of "Gawd Blimey" or "Gor Blimey". They are all a corruption of the oath "God Blind Me".
Cracking - If something is cracking, it means it is the best. Usually said without pronouncing the last "G". If a girl is cracking it means she is stunning.
Cram - Before a big exam you would be expected to cram. This simply means to study hard in the period running up to the exam.
Crap - The same word in both countries - but less rude here. I loved watching Brits being interviewed on US chat shows and embarrassing the interviewer when they said something was "total crap".
Crikey - Another exclamation of surprise. Some people say "Crikey Moses".
Crusty dragon - A booger. One of the really crispy ones.
Daft - My Dad used to call me a daft 'apeth which is short for a daft half penny (in old money). It basically means stupid.
Dekko - To have a look at something.
Dear - If something is dear it means it is expensive. I thought Texan insurance was dear.
Dicky - Dicky rhymes with sicky and means you feel sick.
Diddle - To rip someone off or to con someone is to diddle them. When you visit England, check your change to make sure you haven't been diddled!
Dim - A dim person is stupid or thick or a dimwit. Dimwit - Someone a bit on the dim side.
Dishy - If someone is a bit of a dish or a bit dishy it means they are attractive or good looking.
DIY - This is short for do it yourself and applies not just to the DIY stores but also to anything that you need to do yourself. For example, if we get really bad service in a restaurant (oh, you noticed!) then we might ask the waiter if it is a DIY restaurant - just to wind them up.
Do - A party. You would go to a do if you were going to a party in the UK.
Do - If you go into a shop and say "do you do batteries?" it means "do you sell batteries".
Do - If you drive along a motorway in the wrong lane the police will do you. You could then tell your friends that you have been done by the police. Prosecute is another word for it!
Doddle - Something that is a doddle is a cinch, it's easy. Unlike ordering water in Texas with an English accent, which is definitely not a doddle!
Dodgy - If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may have been nicked. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided!
Dog's bollocks - You would say that something really fantastic was the dog's bollocks. Comes from the fact that a dog's bollocks are so fantastic that he can't stop licking them! Nice huh? Often shortened to just "The dog's".
Dog's dinner - If you make a real mess of something it might be described as a real dog's dinner. A bit like some joint Anglo-American approaches to Eastern Europe for example!
Donkey's years - Someone said to me the other day that they hadn't seen me for donkey's years. It means they hadn't seen me for ages.
Drop a clanger - When I asked a large lady on the tube if she would like my seat since she was so obviously pregnant, she took the seat then told me she was fat, not pregnant! Boy did I drop a clanger. You might make a gaffe. Either way it was horrendously embarrassing, especially as half the people on the tube had heard me!
Duck - In and around Leeds you will find older people might call you "duck" in the same way that they might call you "love" or "dear" in other places. Usually pronounced more like "dook", which rhymes with "book".
Duff - Anything that is duff is useless, junk, trash. It usually means that the object doesn't do the job it was intended for. Our last Prime Minister was pretty duff!
Duffer - Any person that is duff could be referred to as a duffer. The Prime Minister was a duffer.
Dull - You would say something that was no longer sharp was dull. We would say blunt. To us something is dull if it is boring. It can apply to things - like a film could be dull. It also applies to people - I can think of several people who are dull!
Easy Peasy - A childish term for something very easy. You might say it's a snap.
Engaged - When you ring someone and they are already on the phone you will get the engaged tone. In other words, they will be engaged. You would say you get the busy signal or the line is busy.
Excuse me - This is a great one! It's what kids are taught to say when they belch in public. We are also taught to say "pardon me" if we fart out loud. Unfortunately in American "excuse me" means you are encroaching in someone's personal space and you say "pardon me" when you don't hear someone properly. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that actually Americans are not belching and farting all the time.
Faff - To faff is to dither or to fanny around. If we procrastinated when getting ready for bed, as kids, our Dad use tell us we were faffing around.
Fagged - If you are too lazy or tired to do something you could say "I can't be fagged". It means you can't be Bothered.
Fagging - Fagging is the practice of making new boys at boarding schools into slaves for the older boys. If you are fagging for an older boy you might find yourself running his bath, cleaning his shoes or performing more undesirable tasks.
Fancy - If you fancy something then it means you desire it. There are two basic forms in common use - food and people. If you fancy a cake for example it means you like the look of it and you want to eat it. If you see someone of (hopefully) the opposite sex then you might fancy them if you liked the look of them and wanted to get to know them a little better!!!
Fanny - This is the word for a woman's front bits! One doesn't normally talk about anyone's fanny as it is a bit rude. You certainly don't have a fanny pack, or smack people on their fannys - you would get arrested for that! Careful use of this word in the UK is advised!
Fanny around - I'm always telling people to stop fannying around and get on with it. It means to procrastinate. Drives me mad!
Fiddle sticks - I have an old Aunt who is much too well mannered to swear. So when the need arises for a swear word, she will substitute "fiddle sticks".
Filch - To filch is to steal or pilfer. The origin is apparently unknown.
Fit - Fit is a word that I have heard a lot recently - it seems to be making a comeback. A fit bird means a girl who is pretty good looking or tasty! A fit bloke would be the male equivalent.
Flog - To Flog something is to sell it. It also means to beat something with a whip, but when your wife tells you she flogged the old TV it is more likely she has sold it than beaten it (hopefully!).
Fluke - If something great happened to you by chance that would be a fluke. When I was a kid my Mum lost her engagement ring on the beach and only realised half way home. We went back to the spot and she found it in the sand. That was a fluke.
Flutter - I like to have a flutter on the horses. It means to have a bet, usually a small one by someone who is not a serious gambler.
Fortnight - Two weeks. Comes from an abbreviation of "fourteen nights". Hence terms like "I'm off for a fortnights holiday" meaning "I am going on a two week vacation".
Fruity - If someone is feeling fruity then they are feeling frisky. Watch out!
Full monty - Since the movie has come out of the same name I have heard some odd Texan descriptions of what the full monty means. It really has nothing to do with taking your clothes off. It just means the whole thing or going the whole way. That's it. Clearly when applied to stripping it means not stopping at your underwear! The origins of the expression are still under discussion. There are many theories but no conclusive evidence at the moment.
Full of beans - This means to have loads of energy. It is a polite way of saying that a child is a maniac. I was often described as being full of beans as a kid and now it is my wife's way of telling me to keep still when she is trying to get to sleep. Strangely the same expression in some parts of the US means that you are exaggerating or talking bollocks!
Gagging - Desperate, in a fat slaggy kind of a way. Not nice.
Gallivanting - The dictionary says "to gad about", which probably doesn't help much! It means fooling around or horseplay.
Gander - When I was a kid, my Dad often used to go off for a gander when we were visiting a new town or village. It means to look around.
Gen - Gen means information. If you have the gen then you know what is going on.
Gen up - To research a subject or to get some information.
Get lost! - Politely translated as go away, this is really a mild way of telling someone to f*** off!
Get stuffed! - Even politer way to tell someone to get lost is to tell them to get stuffed. However, this is still not a nice thing to say to someone.
Getting off - This seems to be the objective of most teenagers on a big night out. Getting off with someone means making out or snoggingh them.
Give us a bell - This simply means call me. You often hear people use the word "us" to mean "me".
Gobsmacked - Amazed. Your gob is your mouth and if you smack your gob, it would be out of amazement.
Good value - This is short for good value for money. It means something is a good deal.
Goolies - If you have been kicked in the goolies, your eyes would be watering and you would be clutching your balls!
Gormless - A gormless person is someone who has absolutely no clue. You would say clueless. It is also shortened so you could say someone is a total gorm or completely gormy.
Grem - The form of gob meaning to spit something out. e.g. Did you see him grem? Yuck. Usually associated with that ghastly noise as the content of the lungs are coughed into the mouth before gremming can take place. Grem is also the word that describes the green lump that is created in the process. You might call it hacking up a hacker.
Grub - Food. Similar to nosh. I remember my Dad calling "grub's up", when dinner was ready as a kid. A grub is also an insect larva. Not usually eaten in England. Actually is available in some Australian restaurants!

Gutted - If someone is really upset by something they might say that they were gutted. Like when you are told that you have just failed your driving test!
Haggle - To haggle is to argue or negotiate over a price. Most people that wangle stuff are usually quite good at haggling. I just learnt that in the USA you dicker over a price, particularly for used cars!
Hanky panky - Hanky panky - or "slap and tickle" as some older folks call it - would be making out in America.
Hard - After your 20 pints of lager, the curry or the doner, your average 20 year old feels hard. Since his male organ has no chance of working at this stage, hard clearly refers to something else - it means he is ready to fight anything or anybody or to take on any bet. This is the time to make fun of drunken lads by betting them they can't jump off the end of the pier, hang on to the back of a bus etc.
Hard lines - This is another way of saying hard luck or bad luck.
Hash - The thing you call a pound sign! Before you ask, yes it is also something you smoke - see wacky backy. Also to make a real hash of something means you really screwed it up.
Have - This one used to wind me up a treat in Texas. When we were in restaurants with friends, they would say to the waiter something like "Can I get a refill". And the waiter would go and get them a refill. No no no - that's completely wrong. It's "Can I HAVE a refill". Not GET! If you say "Can I GET a refill" in the UK, the waiter will give you a funny look and tell you where to go and GET it - yourself!
Healthy - Healthful. I'm not really sure if this is slang or whether the American use of healthful is the real alternative to the English "healthy". We talk about a healthy lifestyle and about healthy food. I never heard anyone say smoking was "unhealthful" in the US but I suppose that must exist too!
Her Majesty's pleasure - When visiting England, try to avoid being detained at Her Majesty's pleasure. This means being put in prison with no release date!
Hiya - Short for hi there, this is a friendly way of saying hello.
Honking - Honking is being sick or throwing up. Presumably this is a problem in New York where there are signs on the streets that say "No Honking".
Horses for courses - This is a common saying that means each to his own. What suits one person might be horrible for someone else. If my Dad was trying to understand why my brother had wanted to get his ear pierced he might say "Oh well, it's horses for courses I suppose"!
How's your father? - This is a very old term for sex which plays on our apparent British sensitivity. Rather than saying the actual "sex" word you could refer to having a bit of How's your Father, instead - nudge, nudge, wink, wink. The sort of old fashioned saying dragged up by Austin Powers.
Hump - If you have got the hump it means you are in a mood. If you are having a hump, it means you are having sex. Care is advised when you try using these words for the first time. It could be embarrassing!
Hunky-dory - My English dictionary tells me that hunky-dory means excellent. We would generally use it to mean that everything is cool and groovy, on plan, no worries and generally going well.
I'm easy - This expression means I don't care or it's all the same to me. Not to be confused with how easy it is to lure the person into bed!
Irony/sarcasm - The cornerstones of British humour. This is one of the biggest differences between the nations. The sense of humour simply doesn't translate too well.
Jammy - If you are really lucky or flukey, you are also very jammy. It would be quite acceptable to call your friend a jammy b****rd if they won the lottery.
Jimmy - Actually short for Jimmy Riddle. i.e. I'm off for a Jimmy Riddle. This is Cockney rhyming slang for piddle!
John Thomas - Yet another word for a blokes willy! I always felt a bit sorry for people who were actually called John Thomas. What were their parents thinking?
Jolly - You hear people use this in all sorts of ways, but basically it means very. So "jolly good" would mean very good. A common exception is where you hear people say "I should jolly well think so!" which is more to emphasise the point.
Keep your pecker up - This is one way of saying keep your chin up. Use with caution as in some places your pecker is also your willy!
Khazi - Another word for the toilet. Our version of your bathroom.
Kip - A short sleep, forty winks, or a snooze. You have a kip in front of the telly on a Sunday afternoon.
Knackered - The morning after twenty pints and the curry, you'd probably feel knackered. Another way to describe it is to say you feel shagged. Basically worn out, good for nothing, tired out, knackered.
Knees up - If you're having a knees up, you're going to a dance or party.
Knob - Yet another word for your willy.
Knock off - To knock something off is to steal it, not to copy it!
Knock up - This means to wake someone up. Although it seems to have an altogether different meaning in the USA! At one time, in England, a chap was employed to go round the streets to wake the workers up in time to get to work. He knew where everyone lived and tapped on the bedroom windows with a long stick, and was known as a "knocker up". He also turned off the gas street lights on his rounds. Another meaning of this phrase, that is more common these days, is to make something out of odds and ends. For example my Dad knocked up a tree house for us from some planks of wood he had in the garage, or you might knock up a meal from whatever you have hanging around in the fridge.
Knockers - Another word for breasts.
Knuckle sandwich - If somebody offers you a knuckle sandwich you'd be best to decline the offer and leave at the next convenient moment. It isn't some British culinary delight - they're about to thump you in the face.
Leg it - This is a way of saying run or run for it. Usually said by kids having just been caught doing something naughty. Well it was when I was a kid!
Left, right and centre - If you have been looking left, right and centre, it means you have been searching all over.
Love bite - You call them hickies - the things you do to yourself as a youngster with the vacuum cleaner attachment to make it look like someone fancies you!
Lurgy - If you have the lurgy it means you are ill, you have the Flu. Don't go near people with the lurgy in case you get it!
Luvvly-jubbly - Clearly another way of saying lovely. Made famous by the TV show Only Fools and Horses.
-ly - These are two letters that seem to be left off words in America. I never heard anyone say something was "really nice" or "really cool", they would say real nice and real cool. We would be sent to the back of the class for grammar like that!
Mate - Most chaps like to go to the pub with their mates. Mate means friend or chum.
Momentarily - As you come into land at an American airport and the announcement says that you will be landing momentarily, look around to see if anyone is sniggering. That will be the Brits! I never did figure out why they say this. Momentarily to us means that something will only happen for an instant - a very short space of time. So if the plane lands momentarily will there be enough time for anyone to get off? Weird!
Morish - Also spelt "moreish", this word is used to describe desserts in my house, when a single helping is simply not enough. You need more! It applies to anything - not just desserts.
Mufti - An old army term for your "civvies". Civilian clothes that is, rather than your uniform.
Mug - If someone is a bit of a mug, it means they are gullible. Most used car salesmen rely on a mug to show up so they can sell something!
Mush - Rhymes with "push". Slang word for your mouth as in "shut your mush". Also means mate as in "Alright mush?. Which means "Hi"!
Mutt's nuts - If something is described as being "the Mutt's" then you'll know it is fantastic or excellent. "The Mutt's" is short for "The Mutt's nuts" which is clearly another way of saying the "Dog's Bollocks"! All clear now?
Naff - If something is naff, it is basically uncool. Anoraks are naff, salad cream is also naff. You could also use it to tell someone to naff off, which is a politer way of telling them to f*** off!
Nancy boy - If someone is being pathetic you would call them a nancy or a nancy boy. It is the opposite of being hard. For example in cold weather a nancy boy would dress up in a coat, hat, gloves and scarf and a hard guy would wear a t-shirt. It's also another word for a gay man.
Nark - If someone is in a nark, it means they are in a bad mood, or being grumpy. It's also the word for a spy or informant. For example a coppers nark is someone who is a police informant - which you might call a stoolie or stool-pigeon. The origin is from the Romany word, nak, meaning "nose".
Narked - In the UK you would say that someone looked narked if you thought they were in a bad mood. In the US you might say that someone was pissed. We definitely would not say that, as it would mean they were drunk!
Nesh - My Dad used to call me a nesh wimp when I was a kid and I wanted him to take me places in his car because it was too cold to go on my bike. He meant I was being pathetic or a bit of a nancy boy. He might have had a point!
Nice one! - If someone does something particularly impressive you might say "nice one"! to them. It is close the Texan good job that you hear all the time.
Nick - To nick is to steal. If you nick something you might well get nicked.
Nicked - Something that has been stolen has been nicked. Also, when a copper catches a burglar red handed he might say "you've been nicked"!
Nitwit - See twit.
Nookie - Nookie is the same as hanky panky. Something you do with your bird!
Nosh - Food. You would refer to food as nosh or you might be going out for a good nosh up, or meal! Either way if someone has just cooked you some nosh you might want to call it something else as it is not the nicest word to describe it.
Not my cup of tea - This is a common saying that means something is not to your liking. For example if someone asked you if you would like to go to an all night rave, they would know exactly what you meant if you told them it was not exactly your cup of tea!
Nowt - This is Yorkshire for nothing. Similarly owt is Yorkshire for anything. Hence the expression "you don't get owt for nowt". Roughly translated as "you never get anything for nothing" or "there's no such thing as a free lunch".
Nut - To nut someone is to head butt them. Nutting is particularly useful when at a football match.
Off colour - If someone said you were off colour they would mean that you look pale and ill! Not quite the same as something being off colour in the US!
Off your trolley - If someone tells you that you're off your trolley, it means you have gone raving bonkers, crazy, mad!
On about - What are you on about? That's something you may well hear when visiting the UK. It means what are you talking about?
On the job - If you are on the job, it could mean that you are hard at work, or having sex. Usually the context helps you decide which it is!
On the piss - If you are out on the piss, it means you are out to get drunk, or to get pissed.
On your bike - A very polite way of telling someone to f*** off.
One off - A one off is a special or a one time event that is never to be repeated. Like writing this book!
Owt - This is Yorkshire for anything. Similarly nowt is Yorkshire for nothing. Hence the expression "you don't get owt for nowt". Roughly translated as "you never get anything for nothing" or "there's no such thing as a free lunch".
Pants - This is quite a new expression - I have no idea where it came from. Anyway, it is now quite trendy to say that something which is total crap is "pants". For instance you could say the last episode of a TV show was "total pants".
Pardon me - This is very amusing for Brits in America. Most kids are taught to say "pardon me" if they fart in public or at the table etc. In America it has other meanings which take us Brits a while to figure out. I thought I was surrounded by people with flatulence problems!

Parky - Either short for Michael Parkinson, a famous chat show host, or more likely a word to describe the weather as being rather cold!
Pass - This means I don't know and comes from the old TV show, Mastermind, where contestants were made to say "pass" if they did not know the answer to the question.
Pavement pizza - Well here the pavement is the sidewalk and a pavement pizza is a descriptive way of saying vomit. Often found outside Indian restaurants early on a Sunday morning.
Peanuts - I hated one of my summer jobs as a kid because it paid peanuts. The full expression is that if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. It is a fairly derogatory way of saying that manual labour doesn't need to be bright and doesn't need a lot of pay. Typically these days peanuts means something is cheap. For example we would say the petrol in the USA is peanuts or costs peanuts. Compared to our prices it is.
Pear shaped - If something has gone pear shaped it means it has become a disaster. It might be preparing a dinner party or arranging a meeting, any of these things can go completely pear shaped.
Piece of cake - I remember saying it's a piece of cake in front of one of my American friends, who then started looking around for the cake! It means it's a cinch!
Pinch - This means to steal something. Though when you say "steal" it is a bit more serious than pinch. A kid might pinch a cake from the kitchen. A thief would steal something during a burglary.
Pip pip - Another out-dated expression meaning goodbye. Not used any more.
Piss poor - If something is described as being "piss poor" it means it is an extremely poor attempt at something.
Piss up - A piss up is a drinking session. A visit to the pub. There is an English expression to describe someone as disorganised which says that he/she could not organise a piss up in a brewery!
Pissed - This is a great one for misunderstanding. Most people go to the pub to get pissed. In fact the object of a stag night is to get as pissed as possible. Getting pissed means getting drunk. It does not mean getting angry. That would be getting pissed off!
Pissing around - Fooling about, in the sense of messing around or making fun or just being silly. Not terribly polite.
Plastered - Another word for loaded. In other words you have had rather too much to drink down your local. It has nothing to do with being covered with plaster though anything is possible when you are plastered.
Porkies - More cockney rhyming slang. Short for "porky pies", meaning "pork pies". Rhymes with lies. My Mum always used to tell me I was telling porkies! And she was right!
Porridge - Doing porridge means to serve time in prison. There was also a comedy TV series called Porridge about a prisoner starring Ronnie Barker of The Two Ronnies fame.
Posh - Roughly translates as high class, though if you look at Posh Spice there are clearly exceptions to the rule! Comes from the cabins used by the upper class on early voyages from England to India. The coolest (and most expensive cabins) were Port side on the way Out and Starboard on the way Home.

Potty - This isn't just the thing you sit a toddler on - if you are potty it means you are a little crazy, a bit of a looney, one card short of a full deck.
Pound sign - Ever wondered why Brits flounder when voicemail messages say to press the pound sign? What on earth is the British currency doing on a phone anyway? Well, it isn't. To a Brit, the pound sign is the wiggly thing we use to denote the UK pound (or quid), in the same way you have a dollar sign.
Prat - Yet another mildly insulting name for someone. In fact, this one is a bit ruder than pillock so you probably wouldn't say it in front of Grandma.
PTO - This is an abbreviation for "please turn over". You will see it on forms in the UK where you would see the single word over in the USA.
Puff - If a Brit starts giggling in your local drugstore - it may be because they have just found a box of Puffs. To some of us Brits a Puff is another word for a fart. Stems from the cockney rhyming slang, to "Puff a dart".
Pukka - This term has been revived recently by one of our popular young TV chefs. It means super or smashing, which of course is how he describes all his food.
Pull - Me and the lads used to go to the disco when we were on the pull. It means looking for birds. Of course, it works the other way round too. The ladies may also be on the pull, though probably a bit more subtly than the chaps!
Pussy - This is what we call our cat, as in "pussy cat", or in the fairytale, Puss in Boots. So if you have a Brit neighbour who asks if you have seen their pussy - try to keep a straight face and think back the last time you saw their cat!
Put a sock in it - This is one way of telling someone to shut up. Clearly the sock needs to be put in their loud mouth!
Put paid to - This is an expression which means to put an end to something. For example you could say that rain put paid to the cricket match, meaning it stopped play.
Queer - Apart from the obvious gay link, this word used to be used a lot to mean someone looked ill. As in "You look queer". Of course you might not say that these days in case you get either picked up, or thumped!
Quid - A pound in money is called a quid. It is the equivalent to the buck or clam in America. A five pound note is called a fiver and a ten pound note is called a tenner.
Quite - When used alone, this word means the same as absolutely!
Rat arsed - Yet another term for drunk, sloshed or plastered. You might say loaded. In the UK, loaded is a men's magazine that covers sex and football.
Read - If someone asks you what you read at university, they mean what was your major at school.
Really - This is one of those words where you say almost the same thing as us, but just can't be fagged to finish it off. The word is "really", not real. You say things like it's real hot, something's real cool, a baby is real cute. If we said that we would be sent to the back of the class for our grammar - or lack of it!
Redundancy - If you are made redundant it means you are laid off.
Reverse the charges - When you want to ring someone up and you have no money you can call the operator and ask to reverse the charges in the UK. In the US you would call collect.
Right - I'm feeling right knackered. That would mean you were feeling very tired.
Ring - You would ring someone on the phone not call them, in the UK. Try saying "give me a ring" to the next Brit you meet. This does not work well in reverse. I asked someone in a shop to ring me up and he dragged me to the till and pulled my head across the scanner!

Roger - Same kind of problem that Randy has here, except we have people called Roger and no Randys. You will see a strange smile on the face of a Brit every time "Roger the Rabbit" is mentioned!! To roger means to have your wicked way with a lady. My Oxford English Dictionary says to copulate. You might say screw.
Round - When you hear the words "your round" in the pub, it means it is your turn to buy the drinks for everyone in the group - nothing to do with the size of your tummy! Since beers are more and more expensive these days, the art of buying the rounds has developed into ensuring you buy the first one before everyone has arrived, without being obvious!
Row - Rhymes with "cow" this means an argument. You might hear your Mum having a row with your Dad, or your neighbours might be rowing so loud you can hear them!
Rubbish - The stuff we put in the bin. Trash or garbage to you. You might also accuse someone of talking rubbish.
Rugger - This is short for "rugby". It is a contact sport similar to your football but played in muddy fields during winter and rain. Not only that, but the players wear almost no protection!
Rumpy pumpy - Another word for hanky panky, or a bit of nookie! Something two consenting adults get up to in private! Theoretically!
Sack/sacked - If someone gets the sack it means they are fired. Then they have been sacked. I can think of a few people I'd like to sack!
Sad - This is a common word, with the same meaning as naff. Used in expressions like "you sad b***ard".
Scrummy - This is a word that would be used to describe either some food that was particularly good (and probably sweet and fattening).

Scrumping - To go stealing - usually apples from someone elses trees!
Send-up - To send someone up is to make fun of them. Or if something is described as being a send-up it is equivalent to your take-off. Like Robin Williams does a take-off on the British accent - quite well actually!
Shag - Same as bonk but slightly less polite. At seventies parties watch the look of surprise on the Englishman's face when an American girl asks him if he would like to shag. Best way to get a Brit to dance that I know! You can even go to shagging classes!
Shagged - Past tense of shag, but also see knackered.
Shambles - If something is a shambles it is chaotic or a real mess. It's also a very old name for a slaughterhouse. So if you ever visit The Shambles in York, then the name does not refer to the somewhat shambolic nature of the buildings; it's a reference to the site it's built on - an old slaughterhouse!
Shambolic - In a state of chaos. Generally heard on the news when the government is being discussed!
Shirty - "Don't get shirty with me young man" was what my Dad used to tell me when I was little. He was referring to my response to his telling off for doing some terrible little boy thing. Like tying my brother to the back of Mum's car or putting my shoes in the toilet. It meant I was getting bad tempered.
Shite - This is just another way of saying shit. It is useful for times when you don't want to be overly rude as it doesn't sound quite as bad!
Shitfaced - If you hear someone saying that they got totally shitfaced it means they were out on the town and got steaming drunk. Normally attributed to stag nights or other silly events.
Shufti - Pronounced shooftee, this means to take a look at something, to take a butchers! It's an old Arabic word, picked up by British soldiers during World War II, in North Africa.
Sixes and sevens - If something is all at sixes and sevens then it is in a mess, topsy turvy or somewhat haywire!
Skew-whiff - This is what you would call crooked. Like when you put a shelf up and it isn't straight we would say it is all skew-whiff.
Skive - To skive is to evade something. When I was a kid we used to skive off school on Wednesdays instead of doing sports. We always got caught of course, presumably because the teachers used to do the same when they were fourteen!
Slag - To slag someone off, is to bad mouth them in a nasty way. Usually to their face.
Slapper - A slapper is a female who is a bit loose. A bit like a slag or a tart. Probably also translates into tramp in American.
Slash - Something a lager lout might be seen doing in the street after his curry - having a slash. Other expressions used to describe this bodily function include; siphon the python, shake the snake, wee, pee, piss, piddle and having a jimmy.
Sloshed - Yet another way to describe being drunk. Clearly we need a lot of ways to describe it since getting plastered is a national pastime.
Smarmy - Another word for a smoothy, someone who has a way with the ladies for example. Usually coupled with "git" - as in "what a smarmy git". Not meant to be a nice expression, of course.
Smart - When we say someone is smart, we are talking about the way they are dressed - you might say they look sharp. When you say someone is smart you are talking about how intelligent or clever they are.
Smashing - If something is smashing, it means it is terrific.
Smeg - This is a rather disgusting word, popularised by the TV show, Red Dwarf. Short for smegma, the dictionary definition says it is a "sebaceous secretion from under the foreskin". Now you know why it has taken me 3 years to add it in here. Not nice! Rather worryingly smeg is also the name of a company that makes ovens!!!
Snap - This is the name of a card game where the players turn cards at the same time and shout "snap" when they match. People also say "snap" when something someone else says has happened to them too. For example when I told somebody that my wallet was stolen on holiday, they said "snap", meaning that theirs had too!
Snog - If you are out on the pull you will know you are succeeding if you end up snogging someone of the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter!). It would probably be referred to as making out in American, or serious kissing!
Snookered - If you are snookered it means you are up the famous creek without a paddle. It comes from the game of snooker where you are unable to hit the ball because the shot is blocked by your opponent's ball.
Sod - This word has many uses. My father always used to say "Oh Sod!" or "Sod it!" if something went wrong and he didn't want to swear too badly in front of the children. If someone is a sod or an "old sod" then it means they are a bit of a bastard or an old git. "Sod off" is like saying "piss off" or "get lost" & "sod you" means something like "f*** off". It also means a chunk of lawn of course. You can usually tell the difference!
Sod all - If you are a waiter in America and you serve a family of Brits, the tip is likely to be sod all or as you would call it - nothing. Because we don't know about tipping.
Sod's law - This is another name for Murphy's law - whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Sorted - When you have fixed a problem and someone asks how it is going you might say "sorted". It's also popular these days to say "get it sorted" when you are telling someone to get on with the job.
Speciality - This is another one where you chaps drop your "I". when I first saw specialty written down in the US I thought it was a mistake. But no! We love our I's!
Spend a penny - To spend a penny is to go to the bathroom. It is a very old fashioned expression that still exists today. It comes from the fact that in ladies loos you used to operate the door by inserting an old penny.

Splash out - If you splash out on something - it means you throw your senses out the window, get out your credit card and spend far too much money. You might splash out on a new car or even on a good meal.
Squidgy - A chocolate cream cake would be squidgey. It means to be soft and, well, squidgey!
Squiffy - This means you are feeling a little drunk. Some people also use it to mean that something has gone wrong.
Starkers - Avoid being seen starkers when visiting England. It means stark naked.
Stiffy - Yet another word for erection.
Stone the crows - This is an old expression with the same meaning as "cor blimey".
Stonker - This means something is huge. Looking at the burger you might say "blimey what a stonker". It is also used to refer to an erection! Clearly English modesty is a myth!
Stonking - This weird word means huge. You might say "what a stonking great burger" if you were in an American burger joint.
Strop - If someone is sulking or being particularly miserable you would say they are being stroppy or that they have a strop on. I heard an old man on the train tell his wife to stop being a stroppy cow.
Stuff - A recent headline in the New Statesman read "stuff the millennium". Using stuff in this context is a polite way of saying "f*** the millennium". Who cares! Stuff it! You can also say "stuff him" or "stuff her" meaning they can sod off.
Suss - If you heard someone saying they had you sussed they would mean that they had you figured out! If you were going to suss out something it would mean the same thing.
Sweet fanny adams - This means nothing or sod all. It is a substitute for "sweet f*** all". It is also shortened further to "sweet F A".
Swotting - Swotting means to study hard, the same as cram does. Before exams we used to swot, not that it made any difference to some of us. If you swotted all the time, you would be called a swot - which is not a term of endearment!
Ta - We said "ta" as kids in Liverpool for years before we even knew it was short for thanks.
Table - We use this word in exactly the opposite way. To us a motion is tabled when it is brought to the table, or suggested for consideration. You table a motion when it is left for a later date.
Taking the biscuit - If something really takes the biscuit, it means it out-does everything else and cannot be bettered. Some places in America they said takes the cake.
Taking the mickey - See taking the piss. Variations include "taking the mick" and "taking the Michael".
Taking the piss - One of the things Americans find hardest about the Brits is our sense of humour. It is obviously different and is mainly based on irony, sarcasm and an in-built desire to "take the piss". This has nothing to do with urine, but simply means making fun of someone.
Talent - Talent is the same as totty. Checking out the talent means looking for the sexy young girls (or boys I suppose).
Tara - Pronounced "churar", this is another word for cheerio or goodbye. Cilla Black, a scouse TV presenter has probably done most to promote the use of this word as she says it all the time on her programmes.
Throw a spanner in the works - This is an expression that means to wreck something.
Tickety-boo - If something is going well with no problems we would say it is tickety-boo.
Tidy - Apart from the obvious meaning of neat, tidy also means that a woman is a looker, attractive or sexy.
To - We go to school from ages 5 to 18. You might go to school from ages 5 thru 18. We don't say thru in that context at all. If we did though, we would say "through"!
Todger - As if we don't have enough of them already, this is yet another word for your willy, or penis.
Toodle pip - This is an old expression meaning goodbye. However, I only hear it when Americans are doing impressions of Brits as it has fallen into disuse, along with steam trains and gas lights.
Tool - Yet another word for your willy or penis. You'd think we were obsessed.
Tosser - This is another word for wanker and has exactly the same meaning and shares the same hand signal. Unfortunately my house in Texas was in Tossa Lane, which was a problem when telling older members of the family where to write to me!
Totty - If a chap is out looking for totty, he is looking for a nice girl to chat up. There is an Italian football player called Totti - which is pronounced the same. It's really funny hearing the commentators when he gets the ball saying "it's Totty for Italy". It sounds like some beautiful Italian girlies have invaded the pitch.
TTFN - Short for "ta ta for now". Which in turn means goodbye! Said by older folks and one Radio Two DJ in particular.
Twat - Another word used to insult someone who has upset you. Also means the same as fanny but is less acceptable in front of your grandmother, as this refers to parts of the female anatomy. Another use for the same word is to twat something, which would be to hit it hard. Get it right or I'll twat you over the head!
Twee - Twee is a word you would generally hear older people say. It means dainty or quaint. A bit like the way you chaps think of England I suppose.
Twit - You twit! Not so rude as calling someone an idiot but it amounts to the same thing. Remember Monty Python's "Twit of the Year" competition? Other versions include "nitwit".
Two finger salute - When you see a Brit stick up two fingers at you in a V shape, he may be ordering two of something (if his palms are toward you). The other way around and it's an insult along the lines of your one finger salute. Which, by the way, is very popular here now too!
U - A letter used far more in British. It is in words like colour, favour, labour etc. I think this is why UK keyboards have 102 characters on them instead of your 101, or is it because they have a pound sign on them?
Uni - Short for university, we would say we went to uni like you would say you went to school. School here is just for kids.
Wacky backy - This is the stuff in a joint, otherwise known as pot or marijuana!
Waffle - To waffle means to talk on and on about nothing. It is not something you eat. Americans often think that Brits waffle on about the weather. The truth of course is that our news reports last 60-120 seconds and the weather man is not hyped up to be some kind of superstar as he is on the TV in the US. If you want to see an example of real waffle watch the weather channel in Texas where there is nothing to talk about other than it is hot and will remain so for the next 6 months. Another example is the ladies who waffle on about anything on the Home Shopping Network. They would probably be classed as professional wafflers!
Wangle - Some people have all the luck. I know some people that can wangle anything; upgrades on planes, better rooms in hotels. You know what I mean.
Wank - This is the verb to describe the action a wanker participates in.
Wanker - This is a derogatory term used to describe someone who is a bit of a jerk. It actually means someone who masturbates and also has a hand signal that can be done with one hand at people that cannot see you shouting "wanker" at them. This is particularly useful when driving.
Watcha - Simply means Hi. Also short for "what do you" as in "watcha think of that"?
Waz - On average, it seems that for every pint of lager you need to go for a waz twice! A complete waste of time in a serious drinking session. It means wee or pee.
Well - Well can be used to accentuate other words. for example someone might be "well hard" to mean he is a real man, as opposed to just "hard". Something really good might be "well good". Or if you were really really pleased with something you might be "well chuffed". Grammatically it's appalling but people say it anyway.
Welly - If you "give it welly", it means you are trying harder or giving it the boot. An example would be when accelerating away from lights, you would give it welly to beat the guy in the mustang convertible in the lane next to you. Welly is also short for wellington boots, which are like your galoshes.
Whinge - Whingers are not popular in any circumstance. To whinge is to whine. We all know someone who likes to whinge about everything.
Willy - Another word for penis. It is the word many young boys are taught as it is a nicer word than most of the alternatives. Some people also use it for girls as there are no nice alternatives. Hence "woman's willy". Also used by grown ups who don't wish to offend (this word is safe to use with elderly Grandparents).
Wind up - This has a couple of meanings. If something you do is a "wind up" it means you are making fun of someone. However it you are "wound up" it means you are annoyed.
Wobbler - To "throw a wobbly" or to "throw a wobbler" means to have a tantrum. Normally happens when you tell your kids they can't have an ice cream or that it's time for bed.
Wonky - If something is shaky or unstable you might say it is wonky. For example I changed my chair in a restaurant recently because I had a wonky one.
Write to - When visiting the US one can't help noticing that you write each other. You don't "write to" each other. Here it would be grammatically incorrect to say "write me" and you would be made to write it out 100 times until you got it right.
Yakking - This means talking incessantly - not that I know anyone who does that now!
Yonks - "Blimey, I haven't heard from you for yonks". If you heard someone say that it would mean that they had not seen you for ages!
Zed - The last letter of the alphabet. The English hate saying zee and only relent with names such as ZZ Top (Zed Zed Top does sound a bit stupid!).
Zonked - If someone is zonked or "zonked out" it means they are totally knackered or you might say exhausted. When a baby has drunk so much milk, his eyes roll into the back of his head, it would be fair to say he was zonked!